Summer is slowly ending, so evident. 5:15 a.m. and it is still dark outside. June and July, the sun was up and greeting me. The temperature was balmy, now there is a slight chill in the air. Hope it's just the rain that has rolled in, altho I complain nonstop about the heat, I miss it. I miss sweating profusely on a run. Now it's pleasant, perfect running weather altho still humid. The darkness is alarming tho, I cannot run in the dark that early in the morning, kind of creepy. "The city that never sleeps..." such a joke, the city is fast asleep still at 5 a.m. Even our puppies don't want to get up in the dark, which is a relief now. So off I ran to the gym.
I am on a diet now, not a diet, a change of intake for the next few weeks. I need to take off this extra baggage that age has planted around my waist. If I am seriously going to run the marathon in November, I feel like I have to loosen the load to avoid injury. My hip flexor is still sore, my feet still tingling, really sucks plus the extra 5-7 pounds, I feel like doo doo. People scoff at the 5 pounds that I complain about but I feel it, my clothes are tighteer, I feel slower. Not that I was ever fast, back of the pack, a plodder, in my opinion. So with the help of my gym buddy, I have jumped back on the bandwagon of working out and eating better, altho I am craving sugar, big time. Trying to substitute fruit for the ice cream, etc. that I really want. It's only day two of this whole food change, which is the hardest...the first week.
Oh and a bird shat on me today. I am glad that no one really reads this, it's just stream of consciousness for me here. I had no idea. I was chatting and noticed some gunnk on my shoulder. Disgusting, I took my shirt and washed the shoulder in the sink and guess what? Now I am sitting with a wet sleeve and shoulder. Thankfully I have a sweater here and no one knows. So freaking annoying. The bird probably targetted me because I was heading the train, in full on ped rage and scorning this 4 year old preacher who is featured tonight on the National Geographic channel. What is this shit? The freaking breeders should be put away for teaching this baby such bullshit. The gestures of an old man, disgusting. As I was walking and yelling at these fucking drivers who refuse to stop as I am crossing with the light, hit me, assholes. I am mad and not going to take it anymore.
At least my hot flashes have slowed down a bit.....
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Lucky Monday......
Well today is a rest day. I could have gone to the gym to crosstrain. Thought better of it, don't want to do too much. My feet and legs, brain, all tired. Need more sleep but menopause doesn't grant you that, hot flashes, restless sleeping, waking up constantly. Not enough sleep = early death? Hmm, no surprise. That's just great, as you age, you are closer to your grave so your body is just gearing up for a long slow death. Such a comforting thought, right?
Aging is hard, and doing it alone is even more difficult. My father died four years ago now. It was kind of a shock that he got so sick and died within 90 days. He never spoke about illness, always appeared to be healthy, just slowing down a bit with age. He was over 80 afterall, but lo and behold, he died after 90 days in the hospital and 2 weeks in rehab because medicare stops after 90 days. Such bureaucratic bullshit, if you ask me. You can't get old and SICK in this country, you are screwed regardless if you have the best insurance policies. Hospitals just kick you to the curb and throw you into rehab, even if they know damn well that you shouldn't be released from the hospital. Whatever, medical care in this country is shameful.
So now my mother is left alone. I assumed that she would just blossom and come out of her shell as soon as my controlling father passed. Boy, I was so wrong. She was so oppressed for so many years that she lost all ability to think for her own. At least that's what I thought. Needless to say, I was very wrong in my assumptions and observations. My mother was in early early stages of Alzheimer's and has progressfullly gotten worse over time, especially this past year. No one knows what this disease does to a person unless you have someone close to you going through it. People try to compare to their grandparents or their healthy but aging parent(s) but there is no comparison. At least I don't feel that anything comes close. What to do? What next? Is she really that bad? All these unwanted questions, and then straight into denial. Thank goodness my partner/girlfriend has taken control of the situation, inquiring, spending hours in the chatrooms on Alzheimers.org website, education herself. She took over my mother's bill paying, tax, everything with my signature and stamp of approval. I am lucky.
We go up to my mother's in Vermont once a month. I leave my partner with my mother for hours while I run. I cannot spend a lot of time with my mother, she's nasty, not my favorite person in the world. Critical, judgmental, demanding..so out the door I go, running. It's too stressful driving there, seeing what the caregivers aren't doing and then trying to get my mother to focus. I push myself out the door and up and down the rolling hills surrounding my mom's house, not easy for an aging chick like me! Anything to get me away from the disease and my mother. I am lucky.
Now it's time to move her closer to us. Manhattan is the cheapest place but it's here, near my mother's only family, me. She's healthy physically, her memory her only enemy. My father made sure that financially, all was set for long term care. So to get her here will be an effort, cleaning and selling the house another effort, but at least my mother won't be alone in that big house with strangers coming in daily, a danger to herself. I hope that her last few years will be peaceful.
My mother is lucky.
Aging is hard, and doing it alone is even more difficult. My father died four years ago now. It was kind of a shock that he got so sick and died within 90 days. He never spoke about illness, always appeared to be healthy, just slowing down a bit with age. He was over 80 afterall, but lo and behold, he died after 90 days in the hospital and 2 weeks in rehab because medicare stops after 90 days. Such bureaucratic bullshit, if you ask me. You can't get old and SICK in this country, you are screwed regardless if you have the best insurance policies. Hospitals just kick you to the curb and throw you into rehab, even if they know damn well that you shouldn't be released from the hospital. Whatever, medical care in this country is shameful.
So now my mother is left alone. I assumed that she would just blossom and come out of her shell as soon as my controlling father passed. Boy, I was so wrong. She was so oppressed for so many years that she lost all ability to think for her own. At least that's what I thought. Needless to say, I was very wrong in my assumptions and observations. My mother was in early early stages of Alzheimer's and has progressfullly gotten worse over time, especially this past year. No one knows what this disease does to a person unless you have someone close to you going through it. People try to compare to their grandparents or their healthy but aging parent(s) but there is no comparison. At least I don't feel that anything comes close. What to do? What next? Is she really that bad? All these unwanted questions, and then straight into denial. Thank goodness my partner/girlfriend has taken control of the situation, inquiring, spending hours in the chatrooms on Alzheimers.org website, education herself. She took over my mother's bill paying, tax, everything with my signature and stamp of approval. I am lucky.
We go up to my mother's in Vermont once a month. I leave my partner with my mother for hours while I run. I cannot spend a lot of time with my mother, she's nasty, not my favorite person in the world. Critical, judgmental, demanding..so out the door I go, running. It's too stressful driving there, seeing what the caregivers aren't doing and then trying to get my mother to focus. I push myself out the door and up and down the rolling hills surrounding my mom's house, not easy for an aging chick like me! Anything to get me away from the disease and my mother. I am lucky.
Now it's time to move her closer to us. Manhattan is the cheapest place but it's here, near my mother's only family, me. She's healthy physically, her memory her only enemy. My father made sure that financially, all was set for long term care. So to get her here will be an effort, cleaning and selling the house another effort, but at least my mother won't be alone in that big house with strangers coming in daily, a danger to herself. I hope that her last few years will be peaceful.
My mother is lucky.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Rainy Day on Sunday....
Lena Horne is talking on the tv. She has a weird accent for a Brooklynite. Sounds Southern. Her sorority is Delta, oh there she says it. She went south and spent time with her family down there. Not my favorite artist, but interesting interview. All those teeth. Sad that she has passed.
Yesterday I did my 10 mile run. Park Avenue was closed off for the Summer Streets Program. Three Saturdays the avenue is closed off to vehicles for people until 1 p.m. I had no idea but luckily I had planned to run south to the Brooklyn Bridge, the most direct route is Park Avenue. I find that I run very slow when I'm out on the street, people passing me, zooming away. I can't run fast, my feet are in pain, my hip flexor aching, and I just want to run as far as I can without giving up and walking. I feel so old because everyone who is passing is so young. I am almost green with envy but keep the slower pace so I don't hit a wall at mile 2. HA! So there I continued, down Park to the bridge, over the bridge and then was deciding between the Manhattan or the Williamsburg bridges. I decided that the Wmsbg was the better choice since I needed 10 miles. Manhattan Bridge is relatively close to the Brooklyn so off to Williamsburg, I ventured.
My right hip flexor was aching while my left foot felt as if it was slapping against the ground. The odd tingley feeling on the bottom of my foot with this odd nail feeling. My biggest fear is to get another black nail on one of my toes. I realize now, that I did not fuel correctly. Just had a Stinger waffle, and that's it. Nuun in my hydropak and I just kept going and going. Once I descended from the Williamsburg Bridge, I realized that it was time to fuel, it was well over an hour, pushing two hours. So I tested a Powerbar Energy gel. Hammer killed my GI system so I figured I was a bit over a mile away from home so I could take my chances. So in the end, there was quite a bit walking and running. I felt so much better after the gel. Of course, my body was depleted of all nutrients/fuel. I got home in 2 hours and immediately went into a cold bath for 15 minutes and ate something. I never felt quite "normal" until we decided to go to the diner. I had eaten fruit, cottage cheese, anything that was low calorie because I want to loose another 5 - 10 pounds. Exhaustion and hunger just got the best of me until I had a big breakfast at the diner.
The hot flashes were overtime most of the day and again today. I am so thick around my waist now, just doesn't seem to go away. MANopause really sucks. It's a punishment for having an ovary. Whatever, I'm sick of it but I keep pushing, trying to get through my training. The bottomless pit in my stomach is depressing. I cannot stop eating, always hungry. I am starting a new diet, low carbs and eating more healthy, kind of like weight watchers. Making it a point to do weights two or three times a week now, running on the treadmill for the shorter runs. I ran today on the treadmill, fast, so much faster than out on the road. I don't think I could do a long run on the treadmill but the short ones will be at the gym so I can stretch and weight train.
Today it is raining, pouring, I wanted to run three miles outside because it's my new favorite weather to run in. I did not, however, went to the gym. Happy day, Jon is running again, after so many injuries, so we ran and chatted through the short run. Running with a buddy takes me away from the hot flashes, the aches and pains of getting older. Just keep going, and feel good.
Yesterday I did my 10 mile run. Park Avenue was closed off for the Summer Streets Program. Three Saturdays the avenue is closed off to vehicles for people until 1 p.m. I had no idea but luckily I had planned to run south to the Brooklyn Bridge, the most direct route is Park Avenue. I find that I run very slow when I'm out on the street, people passing me, zooming away. I can't run fast, my feet are in pain, my hip flexor aching, and I just want to run as far as I can without giving up and walking. I feel so old because everyone who is passing is so young. I am almost green with envy but keep the slower pace so I don't hit a wall at mile 2. HA! So there I continued, down Park to the bridge, over the bridge and then was deciding between the Manhattan or the Williamsburg bridges. I decided that the Wmsbg was the better choice since I needed 10 miles. Manhattan Bridge is relatively close to the Brooklyn so off to Williamsburg, I ventured.
My right hip flexor was aching while my left foot felt as if it was slapping against the ground. The odd tingley feeling on the bottom of my foot with this odd nail feeling. My biggest fear is to get another black nail on one of my toes. I realize now, that I did not fuel correctly. Just had a Stinger waffle, and that's it. Nuun in my hydropak and I just kept going and going. Once I descended from the Williamsburg Bridge, I realized that it was time to fuel, it was well over an hour, pushing two hours. So I tested a Powerbar Energy gel. Hammer killed my GI system so I figured I was a bit over a mile away from home so I could take my chances. So in the end, there was quite a bit walking and running. I felt so much better after the gel. Of course, my body was depleted of all nutrients/fuel. I got home in 2 hours and immediately went into a cold bath for 15 minutes and ate something. I never felt quite "normal" until we decided to go to the diner. I had eaten fruit, cottage cheese, anything that was low calorie because I want to loose another 5 - 10 pounds. Exhaustion and hunger just got the best of me until I had a big breakfast at the diner.
The hot flashes were overtime most of the day and again today. I am so thick around my waist now, just doesn't seem to go away. MANopause really sucks. It's a punishment for having an ovary. Whatever, I'm sick of it but I keep pushing, trying to get through my training. The bottomless pit in my stomach is depressing. I cannot stop eating, always hungry. I am starting a new diet, low carbs and eating more healthy, kind of like weight watchers. Making it a point to do weights two or three times a week now, running on the treadmill for the shorter runs. I ran today on the treadmill, fast, so much faster than out on the road. I don't think I could do a long run on the treadmill but the short ones will be at the gym so I can stretch and weight train.
Today it is raining, pouring, I wanted to run three miles outside because it's my new favorite weather to run in. I did not, however, went to the gym. Happy day, Jon is running again, after so many injuries, so we ran and chatted through the short run. Running with a buddy takes me away from the hot flashes, the aches and pains of getting older. Just keep going, and feel good.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Jersey Shore
Come on, these silly fools in Italy and I'm sitting at some stupid lame desk doing brainless work in New York City? What have I done wrong?
Just keep running. I can't stop eating, exhausted 24/7, hot flashes, moodiness....and I keep running but feel so slow. In slow motion, wishing I was 30 again. Seems so wrong!
Just keep running. I can't stop eating, exhausted 24/7, hot flashes, moodiness....and I keep running but feel so slow. In slow motion, wishing I was 30 again. Seems so wrong!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Back from the Beach
Long weekend out at the Pines. Maria wanted to do a Fire Island share this summer so off we go for three weeks, mini share. The weather was much better than the first week were were there, not as humid, not many green flies, but of course, I got bit up by ONE lone fly! The puppies had a great time racing all over the beach, off leash, as well as rolling in a dead seagull. This resulted in swarms of flies landing on them, having to give them both a hose bath, all so the flies could swarm me and bite my legs a bit more. Even on my forehead, I have four bites. Why am I so appealing to insects? Anyway, it was a good weekend with better weather.
Headed out early on Saturday morning for a 14 mile run. Hip pain and foot pain made the run extremely difficult and around and around the Pines is not fun at all. I had to stop at the house at mile 9 to use the restroom, I think the Hammer gels mess with my belly. Too much sugar or something. I realize now that the hip pain is from the Asics I walk around the city, etc. on. Not good. Gotta toss those. The heat was annoying, not sleeping great, eating right, another problem with these long runs out there. I did a 13.83 run in omg, i think it was over 3 hours. Pathetic. The humidity and heat were not the best, but not the worse, at all. Sunday morning's run went much better. It was pouring rain, 5 miles, were easy. The rain was awesome, now my favorite thing to run in. Perfect temperature, altho wet as hell, but I was not alone out there. Not rush, but finished in less than an hour. Monday was a welcomed day off. Lounged on the beach, fought the flies and then by the pool Most of the house left so it was quiet, the puppies were tired and I started reading Sarah's Key. Tuesday was a 3 miles run. I decided to try running on the beach. People make it look so easy. What a challenge. My right leg seemed to be favored so the hip hurt as I was running on a slant but I corrected myself and ran on flatter sand and it was slow, but steady. I worked up an intense sweat, dripping like never before...flashes or what? No clue. No pain or anything from straining on the sand. Didn't feel like much of a run, which I was happy about.
Now I'm back in the city, my alarm didn't go off this morning. So am in the Wednesday quandry of going to the social run or skipping it and just running alone after work. I am choosing the latter since last week was so taxing and the heat is up now. Heading to the park and then running around the bridal path and heading home is just too late for me after being away. I'm tired. Adjusting to being back in the city sucks. What's wrong with these damn bridge and tunnel trifling assholes...they walk 5 people abreast so I can step into traffic to get to work? They just don't give a shit. Car culturists....don't know how to be a pedistrian. I get such ped rage, if I only had a baseball bat. BAM...the cars from Jersey, no sense of STOPPING at the crosswalk. The cabbies are rude and nasty, no stopping. Block the box your trashy Jersey shits. I want to smash windshields. Not a good way to start the morning, AT ALL.
So the holocaust. I am tired of all of it HOWEVER, reading Sarah's Key, I can't stop reading it. The vantage point for a child in Paris. Paris. Unbelieveable. The confusion of why Jews, or she was dirty, hated, scorned, the not understanding, the trust, the hope, the fear. And the American woman married to a French man, looking for answers, researching for an article about the roundup in one Parisian neighborhood. The woman is kind of lame for being in such a messed up relationship but whatever, I likethe parallel stories, past and present. It is hard to imagine genocide. I guess what makes me sick of hearing about WW2 is that genocide is going on today and I don't hear about any Jewish group trying to intervene or help muslim groups in Africa. Maybe it's my ignorance, but I feel that if you want to world to feel your pain, you wouldn't want anyone else in the world the experience it either. And to hear about WW2 over and over again, i want to hear about the present since no one can forget the holocaust victims, remember the present victims. I'm just saying. What about the internment and the AMERICANS who were imprisioned in their own country, losing everything that they had worked hard for. Not to forget the small traversties of war, the atomic bomb victims. It's not be compared to the Holocaust or to dismiss any part of that tragic and horrific happening.
I don't know, the Japanese were ruthless and barbaric during the war. Shameful. Will the world every learn the lesson that war just doesn't solve much of anything. No winners on any spectrum of the concept of war. Just a lot of loss on both sides, a lot of ill feelings, hatred, anger, resentment. It is a vicious cycle of hate, killing, sadness. And the cost is unbelieveable. I am sick of all of the anger. I am sick of having to pay for someone else's need for war. I am sick of hearing about the senseless deaths, the sorrow, the need to "win." The US government sucks. I suck too. I sit and bitch, am silent, watching, not contributing, not willing to socialize and just be stupid anymore. But not bitter about life in general, not throwing out facts or information in order to "educate." Educate who? Most people don't care to know. I don't care to know, but how do you avoid this crap, it's everywhere?!
I have this need to run, run through aging, run through all the unnecessary killing, starvation, dying planet. I run because it's clean, it's green...it's zen.
Headed out early on Saturday morning for a 14 mile run. Hip pain and foot pain made the run extremely difficult and around and around the Pines is not fun at all. I had to stop at the house at mile 9 to use the restroom, I think the Hammer gels mess with my belly. Too much sugar or something. I realize now that the hip pain is from the Asics I walk around the city, etc. on. Not good. Gotta toss those. The heat was annoying, not sleeping great, eating right, another problem with these long runs out there. I did a 13.83 run in omg, i think it was over 3 hours. Pathetic. The humidity and heat were not the best, but not the worse, at all. Sunday morning's run went much better. It was pouring rain, 5 miles, were easy. The rain was awesome, now my favorite thing to run in. Perfect temperature, altho wet as hell, but I was not alone out there. Not rush, but finished in less than an hour. Monday was a welcomed day off. Lounged on the beach, fought the flies and then by the pool Most of the house left so it was quiet, the puppies were tired and I started reading Sarah's Key. Tuesday was a 3 miles run. I decided to try running on the beach. People make it look so easy. What a challenge. My right leg seemed to be favored so the hip hurt as I was running on a slant but I corrected myself and ran on flatter sand and it was slow, but steady. I worked up an intense sweat, dripping like never before...flashes or what? No clue. No pain or anything from straining on the sand. Didn't feel like much of a run, which I was happy about.
Now I'm back in the city, my alarm didn't go off this morning. So am in the Wednesday quandry of going to the social run or skipping it and just running alone after work. I am choosing the latter since last week was so taxing and the heat is up now. Heading to the park and then running around the bridal path and heading home is just too late for me after being away. I'm tired. Adjusting to being back in the city sucks. What's wrong with these damn bridge and tunnel trifling assholes...they walk 5 people abreast so I can step into traffic to get to work? They just don't give a shit. Car culturists....don't know how to be a pedistrian. I get such ped rage, if I only had a baseball bat. BAM...the cars from Jersey, no sense of STOPPING at the crosswalk. The cabbies are rude and nasty, no stopping. Block the box your trashy Jersey shits. I want to smash windshields. Not a good way to start the morning, AT ALL.
So the holocaust. I am tired of all of it HOWEVER, reading Sarah's Key, I can't stop reading it. The vantage point for a child in Paris. Paris. Unbelieveable. The confusion of why Jews, or she was dirty, hated, scorned, the not understanding, the trust, the hope, the fear. And the American woman married to a French man, looking for answers, researching for an article about the roundup in one Parisian neighborhood. The woman is kind of lame for being in such a messed up relationship but whatever, I likethe parallel stories, past and present. It is hard to imagine genocide. I guess what makes me sick of hearing about WW2 is that genocide is going on today and I don't hear about any Jewish group trying to intervene or help muslim groups in Africa. Maybe it's my ignorance, but I feel that if you want to world to feel your pain, you wouldn't want anyone else in the world the experience it either. And to hear about WW2 over and over again, i want to hear about the present since no one can forget the holocaust victims, remember the present victims. I'm just saying. What about the internment and the AMERICANS who were imprisioned in their own country, losing everything that they had worked hard for. Not to forget the small traversties of war, the atomic bomb victims. It's not be compared to the Holocaust or to dismiss any part of that tragic and horrific happening.
I don't know, the Japanese were ruthless and barbaric during the war. Shameful. Will the world every learn the lesson that war just doesn't solve much of anything. No winners on any spectrum of the concept of war. Just a lot of loss on both sides, a lot of ill feelings, hatred, anger, resentment. It is a vicious cycle of hate, killing, sadness. And the cost is unbelieveable. I am sick of all of the anger. I am sick of having to pay for someone else's need for war. I am sick of hearing about the senseless deaths, the sorrow, the need to "win." The US government sucks. I suck too. I sit and bitch, am silent, watching, not contributing, not willing to socialize and just be stupid anymore. But not bitter about life in general, not throwing out facts or information in order to "educate." Educate who? Most people don't care to know. I don't care to know, but how do you avoid this crap, it's everywhere?!
I have this need to run, run through aging, run through all the unnecessary killing, starvation, dying planet. I run because it's clean, it's green...it's zen.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Idiots, You Know who YOU are!
Back at work, in the office, climate control. Ran 3.5 today, walked the last .25 since the training day was calling for 3 miles and I went a little bit longer. I already had an old lady moment, bought a pack of gum and forgot it at the kiosk. Fuck it, I shouldn't be chewing gum anyway. Shit, damn, duhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I just ran out of the apartment today with nothing but my key. That's a first, usually have to overthink the outside run. Music, no music, heart rate monitor? Water? I didn't want to overthink a short run, sick of overthink, so strapped on my watch and took off.
Racists are rampant in NYC. I have never heard such racist comments, stereotypical references. Ignorance is everywhere in the air. Who cares if the air is polluted to run in, it's polluted with such bullshit. A coworker was describing a guy she had met, a native Brooklynite but he sounded like a Native American. It was obvious that she had no clue what the term "native American" references. I was confused but should have known that this girl isn't so bright, a racist, homophobe..that what she meant to say was that he didn't sound like a native New Yorker, maybe a midwesterner or west coast valley dude. Other coworkers assume since I am Asian, that I can relate to their Chinese dinner or anything Chinese because we are all the same. And they walk around as if they are native Italians, when they are actually Italian Americans, but American all the same. So superior and Italian by association, expert on Ragu and tasteless sauces and boxed pastas, such as Ronzini. Jews so self righteous and proud but just as ignorant as the next. National pride? I thought segregation was over? It seems like we are reverting backwards, my childhood is haunting me.
Okay running the last mile or so long the East River. I don't know if it's the sign of the times but the walkway along the river going/coming from 23rd Street is cardboard city. It's a red brick path, benches and trees, not a wide walkway, nicely kept. Well now under the trees are the homeless who appear to be so out of it. Appears to me that they are so high, stoned, dirty but just chilling by the river, slowly waking up as the running/biking crowd starts to really pick up. I assume that the economy and unemployment has escalated the homeless population. I noticed that the young runners looking over at them in disgust and fear. Fear. I dunno, these people appeared to be so strung out. Used to be one of two pairs along this path, but today it was every small tree had two people sleeping under it. The benches were occupied by the homeless, as well, but the more "seasoned" homeless. I look at myself running, no ipod..just a fancy watch but all this dri-fit clothing...sad. I should just run in cotton, cheap shoes...I feel excessive when I see so many without altho I wouldn't be surprised if the young new homeless come from privilege.
I don't know.
Racists are rampant in NYC. I have never heard such racist comments, stereotypical references. Ignorance is everywhere in the air. Who cares if the air is polluted to run in, it's polluted with such bullshit. A coworker was describing a guy she had met, a native Brooklynite but he sounded like a Native American. It was obvious that she had no clue what the term "native American" references. I was confused but should have known that this girl isn't so bright, a racist, homophobe..that what she meant to say was that he didn't sound like a native New Yorker, maybe a midwesterner or west coast valley dude. Other coworkers assume since I am Asian, that I can relate to their Chinese dinner or anything Chinese because we are all the same. And they walk around as if they are native Italians, when they are actually Italian Americans, but American all the same. So superior and Italian by association, expert on Ragu and tasteless sauces and boxed pastas, such as Ronzini. Jews so self righteous and proud but just as ignorant as the next. National pride? I thought segregation was over? It seems like we are reverting backwards, my childhood is haunting me.
Okay running the last mile or so long the East River. I don't know if it's the sign of the times but the walkway along the river going/coming from 23rd Street is cardboard city. It's a red brick path, benches and trees, not a wide walkway, nicely kept. Well now under the trees are the homeless who appear to be so out of it. Appears to me that they are so high, stoned, dirty but just chilling by the river, slowly waking up as the running/biking crowd starts to really pick up. I assume that the economy and unemployment has escalated the homeless population. I noticed that the young runners looking over at them in disgust and fear. Fear. I dunno, these people appeared to be so strung out. Used to be one of two pairs along this path, but today it was every small tree had two people sleeping under it. The benches were occupied by the homeless, as well, but the more "seasoned" homeless. I look at myself running, no ipod..just a fancy watch but all this dri-fit clothing...sad. I should just run in cotton, cheap shoes...I feel excessive when I see so many without altho I wouldn't be surprised if the young new homeless come from privilege.
I don't know.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Another Ache
Here we go ago again with a new ache. My left foot is in constant turmoil, my calf at times, my ankles hurt on the eliptical...but now what's up with my shoulder?!!! Enough already. Today was a "rest" day so I rested from running but went to the gym. Chatted with my gym buddy on the stairmill for 30 minutes and stretched. My hip flexor is so sore. I have 14 miles this coming Saturday out on Fire Island, totally not looking forward to it. Have to sign up for some races, maybe the Bronx Half. Doubtful. I kind of like to run long relaxed rather than feeling the pressure.
Okay, I have to participate in the team stuff. I am so bad at socializing but I am going to push myself to do so. I wanted to find a team to run with and feel comfortable with, which I kind of do with this team, but I haven't really put myself out there much. I guess I am shy still at 49. How sad is that? I am going to do the social run on Wednesday night. Time to meet more of the members.
Gas. Omg, it's terrible as you get older. Imagine what it's like while running?
Not a good reason to run: To pass gas.
Okay, I have to participate in the team stuff. I am so bad at socializing but I am going to push myself to do so. I wanted to find a team to run with and feel comfortable with, which I kind of do with this team, but I haven't really put myself out there much. I guess I am shy still at 49. How sad is that? I am going to do the social run on Wednesday night. Time to meet more of the members.
Gas. Omg, it's terrible as you get older. Imagine what it's like while running?
Not a good reason to run: To pass gas.
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