Well the marathon is over, done. All that training, so many weeks, months, all for one day. November 6, 2011, New York City. Over, what an accomplishment, really? I don't know. I guess I need to post the details about the experience to appreciate the process and not feel so blah right now. I just read an interesting post on the runners world website about the the depression people feel after a marathon. Disappointment of not doing the time, hoped for...not completing...not having something else to work towards. Seems so crazy, but I have to admit that I have the feelings of depression, disappointment, etc.
I will review the day/week prior to and of the marathon. I was so crazy nervous by Friday, I left early from work to go to the expo to pick up my bib number, etc. Met up with two friends there, just chatting, didn't shop, which I really really wanted to do, but am glad that I abstained. I was worried about not hydrating or eating properly prior to but the two weeks prior I was eating really clean and trying to follow the taper schedule. I ran in the snow/rain 10 miles. Across the bridges, it was cold but I got it in although the week of I felt that I was fighting a cold. So more paranoia set in, to get the flu shot or not, what supplements should I be taking to boost my immune system. I opted not to take the flu shot and started taking a list of supplement given to me by my friend who was racewalking the marathon.
My friend also had planned to do a drive of the course on Saturday morning with two other racewalkers. Some thought that was crazy because to see 26.2 miles could freak one out but I was so crazy, couldn't sleep so I decided to join in for the fun. Fun it was, and I am glad that I went along because I could see where the halfway point is/was, etc. The hills, the whole visualization is so helpful. But nothing prepared me for the actual day.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Restful, not really, Day
I have definitely slacked off of posting, and I don't want to be like that. That's the issue, I can't finish anything so I worry. I worry that since I don't finish things well, that this will collide with the marathon. You think? I am eating whatever, not much thought about my GI issues...I am not training as diligently, missing a mile here and there. Like today, altho it's a "rest" day, I had all good intentions to go to the gym and do some strength training and warm up for my long 20 miler tomorrow. Did I? Nah, why bother, I'm tired. I can tell that my right calf is straining again, will I have another blow out right before? Maybe. Am I stretching and trying to correct this? Nah, why bother.
So all in all, it's not a very restful day for this rest day.
Work hasn't been so restful. Rumors and crap are sweeping the floors, why this, this is why, sketchy...when all in all, it doesn't really effect me. It does indirectly because my coworker sits next to me, no more. I am alone again here, which I probably a good thing since I am backed up with work to do and it's always better to get ahead of the game. I realize now that I hate most of the people around me so her leaving doesn't make my mind very restful.
I saw my neighbor last night who is planning on the marathon too. Injured. Great. So who knows what she plans to do. I can only worry about myself now or not worry, but do this alone. No one to talk to once again. My one friend is too intense. LOL
So all in all, it's not a very restful day for this rest day.
Work hasn't been so restful. Rumors and crap are sweeping the floors, why this, this is why, sketchy...when all in all, it doesn't really effect me. It does indirectly because my coworker sits next to me, no more. I am alone again here, which I probably a good thing since I am backed up with work to do and it's always better to get ahead of the game. I realize now that I hate most of the people around me so her leaving doesn't make my mind very restful.
I saw my neighbor last night who is planning on the marathon too. Injured. Great. So who knows what she plans to do. I can only worry about myself now or not worry, but do this alone. No one to talk to once again. My one friend is too intense. LOL
Summer Daze in October
I love it. The 80F degree weather is back the first full week of October. Am up in Provincetown, again. It's Women's Week but makes no difference to me or my partner. We are here in the picture perfect weather with our two dogs, the last time in our favorite condo on Court Street. We drove over to Truro, that's our new place to vacation, hopefully, it will all be as nice as this place.
There are less than a month for the NYC Marathon now. I got my welcome pamphlet in the mail last week and reading it was probably the wrong thing to do. Take fast food salt before during and after the marathon. Really? Do this, don't do that...what? I didn't even think of any of those possibilities. What's no one can meet me at the finish? Really? That's not fun. And the course map, what was I thinking? 26.2 miles is far when you look at the map. I'm too old for this. hot flashes are worse than ever, my feet hurt more than ever, I am just tired. Figured out my GI issues so that's a beginning but we are almost at the end.
18 miles yesterday. Never ending. Maybe 5 hours or so with the stopping to text, etc. See, there is no signal here, in and out, in and out so when I find it, I have to take advantage of it. Don't feel as disconnected at I have in the past but still to let Maria know where I was and if she should meet me, was tough. Needless to say, the heat on top of it. Over 80. that was hot. Not that I haven't been training in the heat, but after all the cool temps, it was a rude awakening..plus hot flashes. I am flashing now I as write this.
I haven't posted in so long. Won't post from work if I blog in "private" so it's been a lot of wasted thoughts deleted. the hot flashes are so bad when the weather warms up. It's like having a high fever, a hit of achey feeling then sweat pouring out of my body. Oh it's miserable. whatever.
Tomorrow is 7 miles and who knows what follows. I better check. Saturday is my last 20 miles before the taper. Three weeks to taper, fix my diet and then get this thing over with! I cannot wait. oh I volunteer soon and then am qualified for 2012. Let's see if I actually can do it again with the training etc. Not sure if I want to do it again until after I do it now.
I have discovered a way to get through the long runs now. I downloaded an audio book! What a brillant idea, I'm so late at it but gosh, it made the 18 miles feel like 7 and I am hoping that it will just continue to help me push through my training. The Help, so good. I love it!
There are less than a month for the NYC Marathon now. I got my welcome pamphlet in the mail last week and reading it was probably the wrong thing to do. Take fast food salt before during and after the marathon. Really? Do this, don't do that...what? I didn't even think of any of those possibilities. What's no one can meet me at the finish? Really? That's not fun. And the course map, what was I thinking? 26.2 miles is far when you look at the map. I'm too old for this. hot flashes are worse than ever, my feet hurt more than ever, I am just tired. Figured out my GI issues so that's a beginning but we are almost at the end.
18 miles yesterday. Never ending. Maybe 5 hours or so with the stopping to text, etc. See, there is no signal here, in and out, in and out so when I find it, I have to take advantage of it. Don't feel as disconnected at I have in the past but still to let Maria know where I was and if she should meet me, was tough. Needless to say, the heat on top of it. Over 80. that was hot. Not that I haven't been training in the heat, but after all the cool temps, it was a rude awakening..plus hot flashes. I am flashing now I as write this.
I haven't posted in so long. Won't post from work if I blog in "private" so it's been a lot of wasted thoughts deleted. the hot flashes are so bad when the weather warms up. It's like having a high fever, a hit of achey feeling then sweat pouring out of my body. Oh it's miserable. whatever.
Tomorrow is 7 miles and who knows what follows. I better check. Saturday is my last 20 miles before the taper. Three weeks to taper, fix my diet and then get this thing over with! I cannot wait. oh I volunteer soon and then am qualified for 2012. Let's see if I actually can do it again with the training etc. Not sure if I want to do it again until after I do it now.
I have discovered a way to get through the long runs now. I downloaded an audio book! What a brillant idea, I'm so late at it but gosh, it made the 18 miles feel like 7 and I am hoping that it will just continue to help me push through my training. The Help, so good. I love it!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Omg, not Nancy Grace!
Dancing with the Stars, what? Nancy Grace made the first round? Unbelievable, she sucks in all sense of the word sucks! Chaz made it, which is great, all those transgender haters, eat your heart out!! He was humble and fantastic! Uh oh, private summer is taking over! Sweating, all over. Body of Proof now, all the new shows, the new season.
This is my fourth attempt to post something here. I can quickly summarize my running last week. Was in Vermont, 16 miles in the cold weather, which was a nice change. Hoping that it mirrors the marathon day, November 6. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was welcomed so early in September, no traffic, of course...perfect running weather. Mile 5, my belly was hurting, gurgling, had to make the usual pit stop. When will I figure this issue out. I had no gels, just in case, just water. I guess that was not the thing to do. Maybe it was the bagel was too much to head out with in my belly. No clue.
Sunday I did a 5 miler. Okay, belly issues before heading out and ran through the discomfort. the new try was running in compression socks. I looked kind of goofy but wow, felt awesome. Going to try on the 18 mile run next weekend!
Honestly, I have been feeling pretty odd. My belly is nervous, upset, not good. I have been eating a lot of crap. No great sleeping at all. Menopause, I am going to assume. I want to get over this already. Anxious, depressed, stressed. Aging really sucks.
Well gotta head off to bed. Going to skip a run so I can move my long run up a day, rest day, etc. Altering the training schedule in order to enjoy our last time out in Fire Island without the stress of running in circles for 18 miles. 5 miles is not a problem, but as the mileage increases, the Pines is not the place to be. Too stressful.
Okay, good night ole world. Gonna read me some Game of Thrones. Love it.
This is my fourth attempt to post something here. I can quickly summarize my running last week. Was in Vermont, 16 miles in the cold weather, which was a nice change. Hoping that it mirrors the marathon day, November 6. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was welcomed so early in September, no traffic, of course...perfect running weather. Mile 5, my belly was hurting, gurgling, had to make the usual pit stop. When will I figure this issue out. I had no gels, just in case, just water. I guess that was not the thing to do. Maybe it was the bagel was too much to head out with in my belly. No clue.
Sunday I did a 5 miler. Okay, belly issues before heading out and ran through the discomfort. the new try was running in compression socks. I looked kind of goofy but wow, felt awesome. Going to try on the 18 mile run next weekend!
Honestly, I have been feeling pretty odd. My belly is nervous, upset, not good. I have been eating a lot of crap. No great sleeping at all. Menopause, I am going to assume. I want to get over this already. Anxious, depressed, stressed. Aging really sucks.
Well gotta head off to bed. Going to skip a run so I can move my long run up a day, rest day, etc. Altering the training schedule in order to enjoy our last time out in Fire Island without the stress of running in circles for 18 miles. 5 miles is not a problem, but as the mileage increases, the Pines is not the place to be. Too stressful.
Okay, good night ole world. Gonna read me some Game of Thrones. Love it.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I'm a Hater...
I work so hard not to have those negative thoughts or interactions with toxic people. It is difficult to avoid because these toxic people tend to seek my company. I am assuming it is because I don't say anything, just listen, hoping that they will just go away once they realize that there is no interest here. Doesn't work. I try to be rude but masochists want whatever attention they can get, positive, negative.
This weekend was difficult to get my long run in. I was so tired after my long run last week that I readjusted my training schedule so I could take an extra rest day but do another 6 miler, not to necessarily, make up for two runs, but whatever, more because I felt good enough to do so. So when I went to a funeral on Saturday and decided to take it as a rest day, adjusting my long run for Sunday and skipping a short run only. Made sense to me at the time. I ran on 9/11. Omg, another day, just another day but boy, running across the Wmsbrg Bridge to the Manhattan Bridge and then through Battery Park home again, the crowds were overwhelming. Cops, firemen, tourists, all over the place, traffic check points. I am tired of all of it, and was so tired from running as well. Not a great 13 miles, pain in my hip, feet, hot, sweaty, tired. Really took a lot of energy out of me. My running is really not very interesting. Tried a new gel but Honey Stinger...sent my belly in a tailspin but I think that I fueled too late in the run. Not managing it well at all. I am hoping that Saturday in Vermont will be better, doubtful but hoping that I manage a bit better. I dread the hills but I really need to train better with speed and hills. Today I did 7 on the treadmill. It was relaxing, chatted with a friend, got off, changed treadmills to chat with another. The stress that comes with training for your first marathon varies so much. This guy is seems so competitive, wants to go faster, longer, etc. Maybe this is a guy thing. I am sure that he and this other dude checked my times which determined not doing any social runs with me, which is good. I don't like the pressure of keeping up, just want to chill and have a good time. I'm too old to be competitive and care what my time is. Of course, I would like to finish in less than 5 hours, but there is no guarantee that will happen. Most important thing is finishing healthy. I have done 20 but I reassured him that I do take walk breaks, not that important for me to go fast, just to enjoy myself and not to overthink it. I do hope that I won't have the need to take many walk breaks, I have to really practice pushing myself. I have too many pains going on, I have to be healthy to be able to move forward and succeed.
Gosh this woman is so toxic. Shows no interest in my training or racing or anything but is so intrusive with her own bullshit. I don't care, I refuse to give her information on my training or thoughts because I had to figure things out on my own and she is not going to benefit from it. If she was a nicer person or a real runner, maybe. She just wants the bragging rights but has no idea what it all entails, for me, at least. Will I race with her? NO, I have given enough money to NYRR including the marathon fee, no more from me. She had no idea what the cost is just to enter and she's a cheapass. She won't make her qualifying 9, I just don't see it happening. She has every excuse in the world and not the healthiest. At least I know where she's volunteering so I can avoid that race at all costs. I don't need the added pressure, she is super competitive.
I am a hater, big time.
This weekend was difficult to get my long run in. I was so tired after my long run last week that I readjusted my training schedule so I could take an extra rest day but do another 6 miler, not to necessarily, make up for two runs, but whatever, more because I felt good enough to do so. So when I went to a funeral on Saturday and decided to take it as a rest day, adjusting my long run for Sunday and skipping a short run only. Made sense to me at the time. I ran on 9/11. Omg, another day, just another day but boy, running across the Wmsbrg Bridge to the Manhattan Bridge and then through Battery Park home again, the crowds were overwhelming. Cops, firemen, tourists, all over the place, traffic check points. I am tired of all of it, and was so tired from running as well. Not a great 13 miles, pain in my hip, feet, hot, sweaty, tired. Really took a lot of energy out of me. My running is really not very interesting. Tried a new gel but Honey Stinger...sent my belly in a tailspin but I think that I fueled too late in the run. Not managing it well at all. I am hoping that Saturday in Vermont will be better, doubtful but hoping that I manage a bit better. I dread the hills but I really need to train better with speed and hills. Today I did 7 on the treadmill. It was relaxing, chatted with a friend, got off, changed treadmills to chat with another. The stress that comes with training for your first marathon varies so much. This guy is seems so competitive, wants to go faster, longer, etc. Maybe this is a guy thing. I am sure that he and this other dude checked my times which determined not doing any social runs with me, which is good. I don't like the pressure of keeping up, just want to chill and have a good time. I'm too old to be competitive and care what my time is. Of course, I would like to finish in less than 5 hours, but there is no guarantee that will happen. Most important thing is finishing healthy. I have done 20 but I reassured him that I do take walk breaks, not that important for me to go fast, just to enjoy myself and not to overthink it. I do hope that I won't have the need to take many walk breaks, I have to really practice pushing myself. I have too many pains going on, I have to be healthy to be able to move forward and succeed.
Gosh this woman is so toxic. Shows no interest in my training or racing or anything but is so intrusive with her own bullshit. I don't care, I refuse to give her information on my training or thoughts because I had to figure things out on my own and she is not going to benefit from it. If she was a nicer person or a real runner, maybe. She just wants the bragging rights but has no idea what it all entails, for me, at least. Will I race with her? NO, I have given enough money to NYRR including the marathon fee, no more from me. She had no idea what the cost is just to enter and she's a cheapass. She won't make her qualifying 9, I just don't see it happening. She has every excuse in the world and not the healthiest. At least I know where she's volunteering so I can avoid that race at all costs. I don't need the added pressure, she is super competitive.
I am a hater, big time.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Lazy Rainy Days
Yesterday it was raining. I had tickets for tennis but it was awash. OH well. So I went to the gym and ran 5miles on the treadmill. Sucky but I decided that it was the treadmill or bust. Today my intention was to run 8 miles but of course, I woke up at 5 to the sound of pouring rain. Decided to just skip the gym and push the training forward a day. Now that the dentist was canceled, I realizel that I better keep at the training schedule. I will venture out in the rain today and do the 8 if it kills me.
There is a team run but I really don't feel like waiting until 7:30 to run with them. I will run alone.
Simple and easy. Doing nothing at work, better get busy. Another wash out for tennis. I have tickets for Friday, let's hope.
My friend's mother in law passed away this afternoon. I am somewhat shocked at the speed that her death came. Three weeks? I don't know. Not a good time for my friend, her husband is having radiation treatment and then his mom passes. I hope that his demise is not as grave (no pun intended) for her sake.
Life goes on. And we run on, dealing with mortality, sickness, hot flashes/aging but appreciating that we were given the chance to experience every aspect, including death. Hope that Lucy has found peace, finally.
There is a team run but I really don't feel like waiting until 7:30 to run with them. I will run alone.
Simple and easy. Doing nothing at work, better get busy. Another wash out for tennis. I have tickets for Friday, let's hope.
My friend's mother in law passed away this afternoon. I am somewhat shocked at the speed that her death came. Three weeks? I don't know. Not a good time for my friend, her husband is having radiation treatment and then his mom passes. I hope that his demise is not as grave (no pun intended) for her sake.
Life goes on. And we run on, dealing with mortality, sickness, hot flashes/aging but appreciating that we were given the chance to experience every aspect, including death. Hope that Lucy has found peace, finally.
Monday, September 5, 2011
20 Miles
Saturday, another long run was scheduled. 20 miles. I was nervous, anxious but headed out, without giving it much thought (lies). Had a frozen waffle with peanutbutter, in hopes that I would have no GI issues. It was about 7:45 a.m. or so. The temperature was pleasant, I had three gels, gellies and water on my back. Off I went. I had planned to go to the Williamsburg Bridge to the Manhattan and over to the Brooklyn Bridge and then back to the Williamsburg, up the east river and home. Somehow that is not where I ended up going.
I started going north on 2nd Avenue until 90th Street, I ventured further east to the Shultz Park to the east river bike path to the very end which was 125th Street. I decided that running west on 125th Street would be too pedestrian crowded so went to 126th and headed west. What a nice neighborhood, gorgeous brownstones, quiet area, crossed Amsterdam and the neighborhood continued to improve. I hit the westside bike path and decided to go further north since I was only at 8 miles. The running was good, no real need to stop. Felt my belly talking so decided to stop and sure enough, the GI stuff started because I had just taken a gel. No more pasta before running, definitely on a carb overload. Chatted with a parks person and continued my way to the George Washington Bridge. I hit my 10 mile mark then but decided to go further north along the Cross Island. Gorgeous, hilly but when my garmin hit 11, I thought better of going further.
Slowly I needed more fuel and hydration but was running out. Stopped and rested, stretched a few times as I made my way south then east to home. I was depleted but still clear in the head, somewhat. 20 miles is a long distance and so many people exceed that. Hard to believe but i guess I will know what it's like on November 6.
The best thing about running through New York is the different neighborhoods, architecture, people. I have to say that I am relieved to see that a lot of the history has been preserved, but not necessarily, as much as I would like to see. The area along the Hudson is amazingly beautiful, away from traffic, peaceful. I don't really understand why the East River isn't as respected.
M&Ms don't do well in my belly. Am making "gravy", LOL, sauce. "Oh, I'm Italian." No, you are American and just so jaded by thinking you are "Italian," okay, of Italian heritage. I can say "I am Japanese," and most "whites, Latinos and African BLACKS" would say.."yeah, you are"...Stupid ignorant racists, no, I'm American. I can't go to Japan and feel like I belong. I am Japanese by heritage but shamefully, American and stupid.
I am sick of being "American."
I started going north on 2nd Avenue until 90th Street, I ventured further east to the Shultz Park to the east river bike path to the very end which was 125th Street. I decided that running west on 125th Street would be too pedestrian crowded so went to 126th and headed west. What a nice neighborhood, gorgeous brownstones, quiet area, crossed Amsterdam and the neighborhood continued to improve. I hit the westside bike path and decided to go further north since I was only at 8 miles. The running was good, no real need to stop. Felt my belly talking so decided to stop and sure enough, the GI stuff started because I had just taken a gel. No more pasta before running, definitely on a carb overload. Chatted with a parks person and continued my way to the George Washington Bridge. I hit my 10 mile mark then but decided to go further north along the Cross Island. Gorgeous, hilly but when my garmin hit 11, I thought better of going further.
Slowly I needed more fuel and hydration but was running out. Stopped and rested, stretched a few times as I made my way south then east to home. I was depleted but still clear in the head, somewhat. 20 miles is a long distance and so many people exceed that. Hard to believe but i guess I will know what it's like on November 6.
The best thing about running through New York is the different neighborhoods, architecture, people. I have to say that I am relieved to see that a lot of the history has been preserved, but not necessarily, as much as I would like to see. The area along the Hudson is amazingly beautiful, away from traffic, peaceful. I don't really understand why the East River isn't as respected.
M&Ms don't do well in my belly. Am making "gravy", LOL, sauce. "Oh, I'm Italian." No, you are American and just so jaded by thinking you are "Italian," okay, of Italian heritage. I can say "I am Japanese," and most "whites, Latinos and African BLACKS" would say.."yeah, you are"...Stupid ignorant racists, no, I'm American. I can't go to Japan and feel like I belong. I am Japanese by heritage but shamefully, American and stupid.
I am sick of being "American."
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Humpday
Seven miles, barely made it.
Belly blow up, Code brown which caused my lower back to spasm. Walked 2 miles of the 7.
Am tired and feel really awful right now.
Tomorrow better be a good day!
Belly blow up, Code brown which caused my lower back to spasm. Walked 2 miles of the 7.
Am tired and feel really awful right now.
Tomorrow better be a good day!
Longest run to Date
Hurricane Irene brought a lot of panic and worry to New York City. Public transportation was done at noon on Saturday, August 27 (my parents 49th wedding anniversary). The city was shutting it's doors to Irene, cancelling all scheduled races on both Saturday and Sunday. What? Cancel races? That's unheard of!!! I had a 5K but no more which was almost a relief since Saturday is my slow long run of 18 was scheduled. I had been stressing on how to get teh 18 in. 5K then keep running? Bag the 5K and just run? No running on Sunday, obviously since the biggest storm since 1938 was about it hit. Blahblahblah. So I was going to head out the door by 7:30 a.m. for 18 miles, hopefully beating the approach of Irene on Saturday.
I was so up in the air on which direction to head but decided to do the usual route of going east to the river, south to Battery Park, up the Hudson to Riverside Park at 114th or so. As I approached Battery Park, the only people mulling around were the tourists heading towards the ferry to the Statue of Liberty. Closed, hello, there was a hurrican coming and a city in panic. Sandbags piled up, windows taped, and all the garbage cans removed. What? Parks dude standing at one entrance to the westriver bike path explaining that the area where you can see the river was closed. Wrong, I found an unmanned block and headed with the other crazies and ran all the way up to the Riverside Park along the river. The river was quiet, boats were moving silently up towards to GWBridge. I was running out of energy so had a gel, another flavor: STRAWBERRY BANANA by PowerBar. TASTY!!!!
Then I ran over to Central Park, too crowded with others who needed the mileage before Irene...then out of the Park at 96th Street to get closer to the eastside and back home on 27th Street & 3rd. All the garbage cans were turned upside down, interesting. People just piled garbage on top of them because what else were you suppose to do? Lazy asses. So on and on I ran. Loads of people out, the darker the skies got, and wow, it was so humid. I saw lines of people in grocery stores, drug stores, delis, even Subway had a line. I broke out another gel, out of the PowerBar gels, Hammer, could be risky. Had a Double Latte, not bad..consistency much better than the raspberry. We had a winner here!!!! Found a trashcan that was right side up at 89th so I could drop the empty gel thing in there!!!
I go to about 76th and 3rd when the skies opened up and there was a major downpour of the wet stuff. I was soaked but I kept going, jumping over puddles and the flooding that was happening just with this rainfall. So off I went, getting closer and closer to home and 18 miles. At 30th and 3rd Avenue, I hit the 18 mile mark, stopped the garmin and walked home. Wanting a bagel or something but the lines were just so annoying to even attempt. I felt good, the anxiety was for nothing, I guess.
Cold bath, shower, a sandwich and compression socks did the trick. Was tired but Sunday, I felt great. Irene missed the city but I didn't care, I got my LSD in and Sunday was able to run another 3 miles in rain and blustering aftermath wind. Didn't miss any runs, got them all in and felt amazing!!
Getting motivated!
I was so up in the air on which direction to head but decided to do the usual route of going east to the river, south to Battery Park, up the Hudson to Riverside Park at 114th or so. As I approached Battery Park, the only people mulling around were the tourists heading towards the ferry to the Statue of Liberty. Closed, hello, there was a hurrican coming and a city in panic. Sandbags piled up, windows taped, and all the garbage cans removed. What? Parks dude standing at one entrance to the westriver bike path explaining that the area where you can see the river was closed. Wrong, I found an unmanned block and headed with the other crazies and ran all the way up to the Riverside Park along the river. The river was quiet, boats were moving silently up towards to GWBridge. I was running out of energy so had a gel, another flavor: STRAWBERRY BANANA by PowerBar. TASTY!!!!
Then I ran over to Central Park, too crowded with others who needed the mileage before Irene...then out of the Park at 96th Street to get closer to the eastside and back home on 27th Street & 3rd. All the garbage cans were turned upside down, interesting. People just piled garbage on top of them because what else were you suppose to do? Lazy asses. So on and on I ran. Loads of people out, the darker the skies got, and wow, it was so humid. I saw lines of people in grocery stores, drug stores, delis, even Subway had a line. I broke out another gel, out of the PowerBar gels, Hammer, could be risky. Had a Double Latte, not bad..consistency much better than the raspberry. We had a winner here!!!! Found a trashcan that was right side up at 89th so I could drop the empty gel thing in there!!!
I go to about 76th and 3rd when the skies opened up and there was a major downpour of the wet stuff. I was soaked but I kept going, jumping over puddles and the flooding that was happening just with this rainfall. So off I went, getting closer and closer to home and 18 miles. At 30th and 3rd Avenue, I hit the 18 mile mark, stopped the garmin and walked home. Wanting a bagel or something but the lines were just so annoying to even attempt. I felt good, the anxiety was for nothing, I guess.
Cold bath, shower, a sandwich and compression socks did the trick. Was tired but Sunday, I felt great. Irene missed the city but I didn't care, I got my LSD in and Sunday was able to run another 3 miles in rain and blustering aftermath wind. Didn't miss any runs, got them all in and felt amazing!!
Getting motivated!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Heel Toe, Heel Toe
Okay pains from heel to toe. I have had a blacktoe for a long time now, it's coming to an end, meaning it's about to fall off so it's rubbing rubbing rubbing against my sock/shoe....owwie!!! I have it in a bandaid now, but what to do Saturday for the long run and 5K? I have no clue. It is the most uncomfortable thing. Not a painful hurt but ouch enough. It's so annoying. Seems that if it's one thing one day, it's something else the next.
Now I feel my plantars starting to fascitiis! Why? Why? Why? So now the KT tape is doing it's stuff. My right hip flexor is aching as well. Never ending. Gotta put some KT on it as well. Later, later.
Thank goodness for rest days. That's tomorrow. Attempted Yasso 800s today on the treadmilll. Don't know if that's the best place to work it.
Trying, just trying.
Now I feel my plantars starting to fascitiis! Why? Why? Why? So now the KT tape is doing it's stuff. My right hip flexor is aching as well. Never ending. Gotta put some KT on it as well. Later, later.
Thank goodness for rest days. That's tomorrow. Attempted Yasso 800s today on the treadmilll. Don't know if that's the best place to work it.
Trying, just trying.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Here we GO again!
Running on the treadmill this morning, not fun. I was tired, getting over some GI issues from the day before, just not feeling it. I was going slow as possible, tried so hard to do at least a 6.5 instead of a 7.0. What a struggle, then a hot flash rushes through my body. It is such an annoying feeling, the heat rushing up to your head and I am there chatting with Jon trying to play it off. I just wanted to quit and call it a day. I went on and did my 4 mile "easy" which was far from easy. I think that's what happens, activity that was so simple and easy now is hard and a struggle. The challenges of running through menopause, it is not fun. If I could just sleep at night, that would really be an improvement.
This past weekend in Vermont, I did my first 16 miles. Of course, not straight running because I can't imagine doing that on my own. Running to Middlebury is only two miles, over to the college and the track. Ran around the track for another 2 miles and then GI issues. Luckily the Art Center is always open, which was right there...then ran to the cemetary across the street, don't really know what the point of going to the gravesite of my father is really. I went anyway then ran through town and down to Route 7 South, but that was only 6 miles total. Endless, just endless. Listened to some podcasts. The best for running (for me) are: (1) Two Gomers Run a Marathon, (2) Marathon Academy, (3) Running with the Pack. Sometimes I can run to Gay USA, Fat2Fit, Phedip, The Extra Mile but those mentioned first are my favorite to run to. The Two Gomers are just so funny and really take my mind off of the actually running, too bad they are done for the summer. The summer update was an awesome hour!!! I get it, they walk if they have to, have code brown moments, do stupid things, which I LOVE.
I know that it's time to test gels, energy bars, drinks, etc. My friend suggested NUUN tablets for my water supply. I like the taste and it does nothing to my belly so am happy with HOWEVER I have been reading that with gels and other energy supplements, plain water is the best choice of beverage to wash them down. So on this run, I used water sans the nuun, prepared some Hammer Recoverite to consume as soon as I got back and took power bar gels. Thus far: (1) Chocolate is like pudding, love it; (2) Double Latte is very tasty; the worse so far is the Green Apple. Yuck, Icky Poo Poo!!!! It stung going down, grotesque, foul; almost impossible to palate! Hammer gels KILL my belly, never fails. The consistency is gross, too thick, sweet and sticky. I tried some sports beans...BIG mistake, belly ache! Just too sugary, not necessary. I tried the Stinger energy gummies, not a good choice, once again. So far the power bar gummies have no effect on my stomach. Also the Stinger waffles are great. Such a learning curve, hoping that after ingesting these different gels and gummies, that the rest room is in the horizon or that I am close to home. Oh btw, the recoverite was fine, I don't even know how I would feel otherwise. No aches, no pains, felt great after the fun and soaking in Scout's kiddie pool. Freezing freezing water, my feet ached from the cold water!
Monday was a rest day and the drive back. Quiznos is what did it to me.
Yesterday's run was most unpleasant. On one hand it was great to run with my neighbor, who is much faster and more experienced, but nice that he wanted to run together. I had been on the fence. 5:30 a.m. is now dark, makes me a bit apprehensive plus my belly was feeling odd. The day before I had a belly ache from, most likely, Quiznos on the road. So I was opting for the gym but I had a 5 mile run to do and thought it would be painful on the treadmill although close to a rest room. Sad, that all these things have to be taken into consideration but who wants to have GI issues on the big day? Not me, but I will, I am so sure of that!!! Anyway, my neighbor intercepted me and I decided that I could chance it. He runs considerably faster than I do but he paced a bit slower. It was a lot of huffing and puffing but it was great to push myself a bit. He left and I continued on but I could feel my belly boiling over. The restrooms along the east river were yet to be opened, I thought I would have to go behind a tree. I walked, I hoped for the best...I ran again. I had to walk the last mile, the belly was really about to explode all over Manhattan!
My stomach was not it's best the entire day. Draining me of all energy. A bit better today but still kind of gurgling along. I ran today and things were fine at the gym. It was not a pleasant run, I assume residuals of the day before. Tomorrow a 5 mile Yasso run is scheduled. I really don't care about speed, but I guess I have to challenge my body so I can endure 26.2. Saturday is 18 miles but have a 5K and then Hurricane Irene is suppose to hit land by Sunday, the bitch. Hampers running 18 on Sunday so should I just do the 5K and the continue on another 15 miles? Hot and humid weather? Great. This whole training for a marathon is for the crazies. I guess at the time I was crazy...but now that I have returned to sanity, I want to stop.
I am not a quitter...at least not yet.
This past weekend in Vermont, I did my first 16 miles. Of course, not straight running because I can't imagine doing that on my own. Running to Middlebury is only two miles, over to the college and the track. Ran around the track for another 2 miles and then GI issues. Luckily the Art Center is always open, which was right there...then ran to the cemetary across the street, don't really know what the point of going to the gravesite of my father is really. I went anyway then ran through town and down to Route 7 South, but that was only 6 miles total. Endless, just endless. Listened to some podcasts. The best for running (for me) are: (1) Two Gomers Run a Marathon, (2) Marathon Academy, (3) Running with the Pack. Sometimes I can run to Gay USA, Fat2Fit, Phedip, The Extra Mile but those mentioned first are my favorite to run to. The Two Gomers are just so funny and really take my mind off of the actually running, too bad they are done for the summer. The summer update was an awesome hour!!! I get it, they walk if they have to, have code brown moments, do stupid things, which I LOVE.
I know that it's time to test gels, energy bars, drinks, etc. My friend suggested NUUN tablets for my water supply. I like the taste and it does nothing to my belly so am happy with HOWEVER I have been reading that with gels and other energy supplements, plain water is the best choice of beverage to wash them down. So on this run, I used water sans the nuun, prepared some Hammer Recoverite to consume as soon as I got back and took power bar gels. Thus far: (1) Chocolate is like pudding, love it; (2) Double Latte is very tasty; the worse so far is the Green Apple. Yuck, Icky Poo Poo!!!! It stung going down, grotesque, foul; almost impossible to palate! Hammer gels KILL my belly, never fails. The consistency is gross, too thick, sweet and sticky. I tried some sports beans...BIG mistake, belly ache! Just too sugary, not necessary. I tried the Stinger energy gummies, not a good choice, once again. So far the power bar gummies have no effect on my stomach. Also the Stinger waffles are great. Such a learning curve, hoping that after ingesting these different gels and gummies, that the rest room is in the horizon or that I am close to home. Oh btw, the recoverite was fine, I don't even know how I would feel otherwise. No aches, no pains, felt great after the fun and soaking in Scout's kiddie pool. Freezing freezing water, my feet ached from the cold water!
Monday was a rest day and the drive back. Quiznos is what did it to me.
Yesterday's run was most unpleasant. On one hand it was great to run with my neighbor, who is much faster and more experienced, but nice that he wanted to run together. I had been on the fence. 5:30 a.m. is now dark, makes me a bit apprehensive plus my belly was feeling odd. The day before I had a belly ache from, most likely, Quiznos on the road. So I was opting for the gym but I had a 5 mile run to do and thought it would be painful on the treadmill although close to a rest room. Sad, that all these things have to be taken into consideration but who wants to have GI issues on the big day? Not me, but I will, I am so sure of that!!! Anyway, my neighbor intercepted me and I decided that I could chance it. He runs considerably faster than I do but he paced a bit slower. It was a lot of huffing and puffing but it was great to push myself a bit. He left and I continued on but I could feel my belly boiling over. The restrooms along the east river were yet to be opened, I thought I would have to go behind a tree. I walked, I hoped for the best...I ran again. I had to walk the last mile, the belly was really about to explode all over Manhattan!
My stomach was not it's best the entire day. Draining me of all energy. A bit better today but still kind of gurgling along. I ran today and things were fine at the gym. It was not a pleasant run, I assume residuals of the day before. Tomorrow a 5 mile Yasso run is scheduled. I really don't care about speed, but I guess I have to challenge my body so I can endure 26.2. Saturday is 18 miles but have a 5K and then Hurricane Irene is suppose to hit land by Sunday, the bitch. Hampers running 18 on Sunday so should I just do the 5K and the continue on another 15 miles? Hot and humid weather? Great. This whole training for a marathon is for the crazies. I guess at the time I was crazy...but now that I have returned to sanity, I want to stop.
I am not a quitter...at least not yet.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
A Not so new Diet...
Oh man, I got two new pairs of running shoes....one sucked from the get go but I tried to run 6 miles with another pair...legs felt weird, hip was yelping too much but by the end of the 6 miles, my little toes..baby wee toes were SCREAMING!!! So guess what? I'm returning both pairs. I need to find the perfect running shoes before November 6. Damn it! It's going to be an endless search, I guess. I have been searching for years. Always think that I found THE pair and then somehow it turns out to be a dud. My feet hurt today, as I mentioned before. Oh well, that's life.
What a great run tho. My garmin died so I just ran what I estimated was about 6 miles. Mapped my run on mapmyrun and yep, it was exactly 6 miles in maybe an hour and 3 minutes or so. Not bad. I felt good, sans the sore feet....the weather was a bit humid, but cool. I just made my way up 2nd Avenue to 86th Street then over to 3rd and home. I grabbed an amNY from some dude and read it at the red lights. I have to say that's the biggest drag about running on the streets, traffic lights, cars that won't stop at the crosswalk, pedestrians. I just can't run the same East River route every day. It's a drag. The gym is good for shorter runs since Jon is there and I can chat with him. That's tomorrow.
Jon suggested a great thing to curb the sweet cravings. Freeze jello and eat it with fruit. Wow, it was awesome. I didn't do the sugar free because the asparatame is disgusting. Talk about gas!!! How cute is that? Sweating hot flashes, farting, wrinkles and grey hair. Not a cute look at all!! LOL, anyway, I am trying to stick to this metabolism boosting regime. Weights three times a week, eating better....I should be able to unload some of this extra weight. I weighed myself this morning and was down three pounds...probably water weight. Am drinking loads of water....trying to get it together before November.
Good luck to me....hope I find a new pair of kicks soon. I miss my buddy, Lisa.
What a great run tho. My garmin died so I just ran what I estimated was about 6 miles. Mapped my run on mapmyrun and yep, it was exactly 6 miles in maybe an hour and 3 minutes or so. Not bad. I felt good, sans the sore feet....the weather was a bit humid, but cool. I just made my way up 2nd Avenue to 86th Street then over to 3rd and home. I grabbed an amNY from some dude and read it at the red lights. I have to say that's the biggest drag about running on the streets, traffic lights, cars that won't stop at the crosswalk, pedestrians. I just can't run the same East River route every day. It's a drag. The gym is good for shorter runs since Jon is there and I can chat with him. That's tomorrow.
Jon suggested a great thing to curb the sweet cravings. Freeze jello and eat it with fruit. Wow, it was awesome. I didn't do the sugar free because the asparatame is disgusting. Talk about gas!!! How cute is that? Sweating hot flashes, farting, wrinkles and grey hair. Not a cute look at all!! LOL, anyway, I am trying to stick to this metabolism boosting regime. Weights three times a week, eating better....I should be able to unload some of this extra weight. I weighed myself this morning and was down three pounds...probably water weight. Am drinking loads of water....trying to get it together before November.
Good luck to me....hope I find a new pair of kicks soon. I miss my buddy, Lisa.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Another rainy day in NYC
Summer is slowly ending, so evident. 5:15 a.m. and it is still dark outside. June and July, the sun was up and greeting me. The temperature was balmy, now there is a slight chill in the air. Hope it's just the rain that has rolled in, altho I complain nonstop about the heat, I miss it. I miss sweating profusely on a run. Now it's pleasant, perfect running weather altho still humid. The darkness is alarming tho, I cannot run in the dark that early in the morning, kind of creepy. "The city that never sleeps..." such a joke, the city is fast asleep still at 5 a.m. Even our puppies don't want to get up in the dark, which is a relief now. So off I ran to the gym.
I am on a diet now, not a diet, a change of intake for the next few weeks. I need to take off this extra baggage that age has planted around my waist. If I am seriously going to run the marathon in November, I feel like I have to loosen the load to avoid injury. My hip flexor is still sore, my feet still tingling, really sucks plus the extra 5-7 pounds, I feel like doo doo. People scoff at the 5 pounds that I complain about but I feel it, my clothes are tighteer, I feel slower. Not that I was ever fast, back of the pack, a plodder, in my opinion. So with the help of my gym buddy, I have jumped back on the bandwagon of working out and eating better, altho I am craving sugar, big time. Trying to substitute fruit for the ice cream, etc. that I really want. It's only day two of this whole food change, which is the hardest...the first week.
Oh and a bird shat on me today. I am glad that no one really reads this, it's just stream of consciousness for me here. I had no idea. I was chatting and noticed some gunnk on my shoulder. Disgusting, I took my shirt and washed the shoulder in the sink and guess what? Now I am sitting with a wet sleeve and shoulder. Thankfully I have a sweater here and no one knows. So freaking annoying. The bird probably targetted me because I was heading the train, in full on ped rage and scorning this 4 year old preacher who is featured tonight on the National Geographic channel. What is this shit? The freaking breeders should be put away for teaching this baby such bullshit. The gestures of an old man, disgusting. As I was walking and yelling at these fucking drivers who refuse to stop as I am crossing with the light, hit me, assholes. I am mad and not going to take it anymore.
At least my hot flashes have slowed down a bit.....
I am on a diet now, not a diet, a change of intake for the next few weeks. I need to take off this extra baggage that age has planted around my waist. If I am seriously going to run the marathon in November, I feel like I have to loosen the load to avoid injury. My hip flexor is still sore, my feet still tingling, really sucks plus the extra 5-7 pounds, I feel like doo doo. People scoff at the 5 pounds that I complain about but I feel it, my clothes are tighteer, I feel slower. Not that I was ever fast, back of the pack, a plodder, in my opinion. So with the help of my gym buddy, I have jumped back on the bandwagon of working out and eating better, altho I am craving sugar, big time. Trying to substitute fruit for the ice cream, etc. that I really want. It's only day two of this whole food change, which is the hardest...the first week.
Oh and a bird shat on me today. I am glad that no one really reads this, it's just stream of consciousness for me here. I had no idea. I was chatting and noticed some gunnk on my shoulder. Disgusting, I took my shirt and washed the shoulder in the sink and guess what? Now I am sitting with a wet sleeve and shoulder. Thankfully I have a sweater here and no one knows. So freaking annoying. The bird probably targetted me because I was heading the train, in full on ped rage and scorning this 4 year old preacher who is featured tonight on the National Geographic channel. What is this shit? The freaking breeders should be put away for teaching this baby such bullshit. The gestures of an old man, disgusting. As I was walking and yelling at these fucking drivers who refuse to stop as I am crossing with the light, hit me, assholes. I am mad and not going to take it anymore.
At least my hot flashes have slowed down a bit.....
Monday, August 15, 2011
Lucky Monday......
Well today is a rest day. I could have gone to the gym to crosstrain. Thought better of it, don't want to do too much. My feet and legs, brain, all tired. Need more sleep but menopause doesn't grant you that, hot flashes, restless sleeping, waking up constantly. Not enough sleep = early death? Hmm, no surprise. That's just great, as you age, you are closer to your grave so your body is just gearing up for a long slow death. Such a comforting thought, right?
Aging is hard, and doing it alone is even more difficult. My father died four years ago now. It was kind of a shock that he got so sick and died within 90 days. He never spoke about illness, always appeared to be healthy, just slowing down a bit with age. He was over 80 afterall, but lo and behold, he died after 90 days in the hospital and 2 weeks in rehab because medicare stops after 90 days. Such bureaucratic bullshit, if you ask me. You can't get old and SICK in this country, you are screwed regardless if you have the best insurance policies. Hospitals just kick you to the curb and throw you into rehab, even if they know damn well that you shouldn't be released from the hospital. Whatever, medical care in this country is shameful.
So now my mother is left alone. I assumed that she would just blossom and come out of her shell as soon as my controlling father passed. Boy, I was so wrong. She was so oppressed for so many years that she lost all ability to think for her own. At least that's what I thought. Needless to say, I was very wrong in my assumptions and observations. My mother was in early early stages of Alzheimer's and has progressfullly gotten worse over time, especially this past year. No one knows what this disease does to a person unless you have someone close to you going through it. People try to compare to their grandparents or their healthy but aging parent(s) but there is no comparison. At least I don't feel that anything comes close. What to do? What next? Is she really that bad? All these unwanted questions, and then straight into denial. Thank goodness my partner/girlfriend has taken control of the situation, inquiring, spending hours in the chatrooms on Alzheimers.org website, education herself. She took over my mother's bill paying, tax, everything with my signature and stamp of approval. I am lucky.
We go up to my mother's in Vermont once a month. I leave my partner with my mother for hours while I run. I cannot spend a lot of time with my mother, she's nasty, not my favorite person in the world. Critical, judgmental, demanding..so out the door I go, running. It's too stressful driving there, seeing what the caregivers aren't doing and then trying to get my mother to focus. I push myself out the door and up and down the rolling hills surrounding my mom's house, not easy for an aging chick like me! Anything to get me away from the disease and my mother. I am lucky.
Now it's time to move her closer to us. Manhattan is the cheapest place but it's here, near my mother's only family, me. She's healthy physically, her memory her only enemy. My father made sure that financially, all was set for long term care. So to get her here will be an effort, cleaning and selling the house another effort, but at least my mother won't be alone in that big house with strangers coming in daily, a danger to herself. I hope that her last few years will be peaceful.
My mother is lucky.
Aging is hard, and doing it alone is even more difficult. My father died four years ago now. It was kind of a shock that he got so sick and died within 90 days. He never spoke about illness, always appeared to be healthy, just slowing down a bit with age. He was over 80 afterall, but lo and behold, he died after 90 days in the hospital and 2 weeks in rehab because medicare stops after 90 days. Such bureaucratic bullshit, if you ask me. You can't get old and SICK in this country, you are screwed regardless if you have the best insurance policies. Hospitals just kick you to the curb and throw you into rehab, even if they know damn well that you shouldn't be released from the hospital. Whatever, medical care in this country is shameful.
So now my mother is left alone. I assumed that she would just blossom and come out of her shell as soon as my controlling father passed. Boy, I was so wrong. She was so oppressed for so many years that she lost all ability to think for her own. At least that's what I thought. Needless to say, I was very wrong in my assumptions and observations. My mother was in early early stages of Alzheimer's and has progressfullly gotten worse over time, especially this past year. No one knows what this disease does to a person unless you have someone close to you going through it. People try to compare to their grandparents or their healthy but aging parent(s) but there is no comparison. At least I don't feel that anything comes close. What to do? What next? Is she really that bad? All these unwanted questions, and then straight into denial. Thank goodness my partner/girlfriend has taken control of the situation, inquiring, spending hours in the chatrooms on Alzheimers.org website, education herself. She took over my mother's bill paying, tax, everything with my signature and stamp of approval. I am lucky.
We go up to my mother's in Vermont once a month. I leave my partner with my mother for hours while I run. I cannot spend a lot of time with my mother, she's nasty, not my favorite person in the world. Critical, judgmental, demanding..so out the door I go, running. It's too stressful driving there, seeing what the caregivers aren't doing and then trying to get my mother to focus. I push myself out the door and up and down the rolling hills surrounding my mom's house, not easy for an aging chick like me! Anything to get me away from the disease and my mother. I am lucky.
Now it's time to move her closer to us. Manhattan is the cheapest place but it's here, near my mother's only family, me. She's healthy physically, her memory her only enemy. My father made sure that financially, all was set for long term care. So to get her here will be an effort, cleaning and selling the house another effort, but at least my mother won't be alone in that big house with strangers coming in daily, a danger to herself. I hope that her last few years will be peaceful.
My mother is lucky.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Rainy Day on Sunday....
Lena Horne is talking on the tv. She has a weird accent for a Brooklynite. Sounds Southern. Her sorority is Delta, oh there she says it. She went south and spent time with her family down there. Not my favorite artist, but interesting interview. All those teeth. Sad that she has passed.
Yesterday I did my 10 mile run. Park Avenue was closed off for the Summer Streets Program. Three Saturdays the avenue is closed off to vehicles for people until 1 p.m. I had no idea but luckily I had planned to run south to the Brooklyn Bridge, the most direct route is Park Avenue. I find that I run very slow when I'm out on the street, people passing me, zooming away. I can't run fast, my feet are in pain, my hip flexor aching, and I just want to run as far as I can without giving up and walking. I feel so old because everyone who is passing is so young. I am almost green with envy but keep the slower pace so I don't hit a wall at mile 2. HA! So there I continued, down Park to the bridge, over the bridge and then was deciding between the Manhattan or the Williamsburg bridges. I decided that the Wmsbg was the better choice since I needed 10 miles. Manhattan Bridge is relatively close to the Brooklyn so off to Williamsburg, I ventured.
My right hip flexor was aching while my left foot felt as if it was slapping against the ground. The odd tingley feeling on the bottom of my foot with this odd nail feeling. My biggest fear is to get another black nail on one of my toes. I realize now, that I did not fuel correctly. Just had a Stinger waffle, and that's it. Nuun in my hydropak and I just kept going and going. Once I descended from the Williamsburg Bridge, I realized that it was time to fuel, it was well over an hour, pushing two hours. So I tested a Powerbar Energy gel. Hammer killed my GI system so I figured I was a bit over a mile away from home so I could take my chances. So in the end, there was quite a bit walking and running. I felt so much better after the gel. Of course, my body was depleted of all nutrients/fuel. I got home in 2 hours and immediately went into a cold bath for 15 minutes and ate something. I never felt quite "normal" until we decided to go to the diner. I had eaten fruit, cottage cheese, anything that was low calorie because I want to loose another 5 - 10 pounds. Exhaustion and hunger just got the best of me until I had a big breakfast at the diner.
The hot flashes were overtime most of the day and again today. I am so thick around my waist now, just doesn't seem to go away. MANopause really sucks. It's a punishment for having an ovary. Whatever, I'm sick of it but I keep pushing, trying to get through my training. The bottomless pit in my stomach is depressing. I cannot stop eating, always hungry. I am starting a new diet, low carbs and eating more healthy, kind of like weight watchers. Making it a point to do weights two or three times a week now, running on the treadmill for the shorter runs. I ran today on the treadmill, fast, so much faster than out on the road. I don't think I could do a long run on the treadmill but the short ones will be at the gym so I can stretch and weight train.
Today it is raining, pouring, I wanted to run three miles outside because it's my new favorite weather to run in. I did not, however, went to the gym. Happy day, Jon is running again, after so many injuries, so we ran and chatted through the short run. Running with a buddy takes me away from the hot flashes, the aches and pains of getting older. Just keep going, and feel good.
Yesterday I did my 10 mile run. Park Avenue was closed off for the Summer Streets Program. Three Saturdays the avenue is closed off to vehicles for people until 1 p.m. I had no idea but luckily I had planned to run south to the Brooklyn Bridge, the most direct route is Park Avenue. I find that I run very slow when I'm out on the street, people passing me, zooming away. I can't run fast, my feet are in pain, my hip flexor aching, and I just want to run as far as I can without giving up and walking. I feel so old because everyone who is passing is so young. I am almost green with envy but keep the slower pace so I don't hit a wall at mile 2. HA! So there I continued, down Park to the bridge, over the bridge and then was deciding between the Manhattan or the Williamsburg bridges. I decided that the Wmsbg was the better choice since I needed 10 miles. Manhattan Bridge is relatively close to the Brooklyn so off to Williamsburg, I ventured.
My right hip flexor was aching while my left foot felt as if it was slapping against the ground. The odd tingley feeling on the bottom of my foot with this odd nail feeling. My biggest fear is to get another black nail on one of my toes. I realize now, that I did not fuel correctly. Just had a Stinger waffle, and that's it. Nuun in my hydropak and I just kept going and going. Once I descended from the Williamsburg Bridge, I realized that it was time to fuel, it was well over an hour, pushing two hours. So I tested a Powerbar Energy gel. Hammer killed my GI system so I figured I was a bit over a mile away from home so I could take my chances. So in the end, there was quite a bit walking and running. I felt so much better after the gel. Of course, my body was depleted of all nutrients/fuel. I got home in 2 hours and immediately went into a cold bath for 15 minutes and ate something. I never felt quite "normal" until we decided to go to the diner. I had eaten fruit, cottage cheese, anything that was low calorie because I want to loose another 5 - 10 pounds. Exhaustion and hunger just got the best of me until I had a big breakfast at the diner.
The hot flashes were overtime most of the day and again today. I am so thick around my waist now, just doesn't seem to go away. MANopause really sucks. It's a punishment for having an ovary. Whatever, I'm sick of it but I keep pushing, trying to get through my training. The bottomless pit in my stomach is depressing. I cannot stop eating, always hungry. I am starting a new diet, low carbs and eating more healthy, kind of like weight watchers. Making it a point to do weights two or three times a week now, running on the treadmill for the shorter runs. I ran today on the treadmill, fast, so much faster than out on the road. I don't think I could do a long run on the treadmill but the short ones will be at the gym so I can stretch and weight train.
Today it is raining, pouring, I wanted to run three miles outside because it's my new favorite weather to run in. I did not, however, went to the gym. Happy day, Jon is running again, after so many injuries, so we ran and chatted through the short run. Running with a buddy takes me away from the hot flashes, the aches and pains of getting older. Just keep going, and feel good.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Jersey Shore
Come on, these silly fools in Italy and I'm sitting at some stupid lame desk doing brainless work in New York City? What have I done wrong?
Just keep running. I can't stop eating, exhausted 24/7, hot flashes, moodiness....and I keep running but feel so slow. In slow motion, wishing I was 30 again. Seems so wrong!
Just keep running. I can't stop eating, exhausted 24/7, hot flashes, moodiness....and I keep running but feel so slow. In slow motion, wishing I was 30 again. Seems so wrong!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Back from the Beach
Long weekend out at the Pines. Maria wanted to do a Fire Island share this summer so off we go for three weeks, mini share. The weather was much better than the first week were were there, not as humid, not many green flies, but of course, I got bit up by ONE lone fly! The puppies had a great time racing all over the beach, off leash, as well as rolling in a dead seagull. This resulted in swarms of flies landing on them, having to give them both a hose bath, all so the flies could swarm me and bite my legs a bit more. Even on my forehead, I have four bites. Why am I so appealing to insects? Anyway, it was a good weekend with better weather.
Headed out early on Saturday morning for a 14 mile run. Hip pain and foot pain made the run extremely difficult and around and around the Pines is not fun at all. I had to stop at the house at mile 9 to use the restroom, I think the Hammer gels mess with my belly. Too much sugar or something. I realize now that the hip pain is from the Asics I walk around the city, etc. on. Not good. Gotta toss those. The heat was annoying, not sleeping great, eating right, another problem with these long runs out there. I did a 13.83 run in omg, i think it was over 3 hours. Pathetic. The humidity and heat were not the best, but not the worse, at all. Sunday morning's run went much better. It was pouring rain, 5 miles, were easy. The rain was awesome, now my favorite thing to run in. Perfect temperature, altho wet as hell, but I was not alone out there. Not rush, but finished in less than an hour. Monday was a welcomed day off. Lounged on the beach, fought the flies and then by the pool Most of the house left so it was quiet, the puppies were tired and I started reading Sarah's Key. Tuesday was a 3 miles run. I decided to try running on the beach. People make it look so easy. What a challenge. My right leg seemed to be favored so the hip hurt as I was running on a slant but I corrected myself and ran on flatter sand and it was slow, but steady. I worked up an intense sweat, dripping like never before...flashes or what? No clue. No pain or anything from straining on the sand. Didn't feel like much of a run, which I was happy about.
Now I'm back in the city, my alarm didn't go off this morning. So am in the Wednesday quandry of going to the social run or skipping it and just running alone after work. I am choosing the latter since last week was so taxing and the heat is up now. Heading to the park and then running around the bridal path and heading home is just too late for me after being away. I'm tired. Adjusting to being back in the city sucks. What's wrong with these damn bridge and tunnel trifling assholes...they walk 5 people abreast so I can step into traffic to get to work? They just don't give a shit. Car culturists....don't know how to be a pedistrian. I get such ped rage, if I only had a baseball bat. BAM...the cars from Jersey, no sense of STOPPING at the crosswalk. The cabbies are rude and nasty, no stopping. Block the box your trashy Jersey shits. I want to smash windshields. Not a good way to start the morning, AT ALL.
So the holocaust. I am tired of all of it HOWEVER, reading Sarah's Key, I can't stop reading it. The vantage point for a child in Paris. Paris. Unbelieveable. The confusion of why Jews, or she was dirty, hated, scorned, the not understanding, the trust, the hope, the fear. And the American woman married to a French man, looking for answers, researching for an article about the roundup in one Parisian neighborhood. The woman is kind of lame for being in such a messed up relationship but whatever, I likethe parallel stories, past and present. It is hard to imagine genocide. I guess what makes me sick of hearing about WW2 is that genocide is going on today and I don't hear about any Jewish group trying to intervene or help muslim groups in Africa. Maybe it's my ignorance, but I feel that if you want to world to feel your pain, you wouldn't want anyone else in the world the experience it either. And to hear about WW2 over and over again, i want to hear about the present since no one can forget the holocaust victims, remember the present victims. I'm just saying. What about the internment and the AMERICANS who were imprisioned in their own country, losing everything that they had worked hard for. Not to forget the small traversties of war, the atomic bomb victims. It's not be compared to the Holocaust or to dismiss any part of that tragic and horrific happening.
I don't know, the Japanese were ruthless and barbaric during the war. Shameful. Will the world every learn the lesson that war just doesn't solve much of anything. No winners on any spectrum of the concept of war. Just a lot of loss on both sides, a lot of ill feelings, hatred, anger, resentment. It is a vicious cycle of hate, killing, sadness. And the cost is unbelieveable. I am sick of all of the anger. I am sick of having to pay for someone else's need for war. I am sick of hearing about the senseless deaths, the sorrow, the need to "win." The US government sucks. I suck too. I sit and bitch, am silent, watching, not contributing, not willing to socialize and just be stupid anymore. But not bitter about life in general, not throwing out facts or information in order to "educate." Educate who? Most people don't care to know. I don't care to know, but how do you avoid this crap, it's everywhere?!
I have this need to run, run through aging, run through all the unnecessary killing, starvation, dying planet. I run because it's clean, it's green...it's zen.
Headed out early on Saturday morning for a 14 mile run. Hip pain and foot pain made the run extremely difficult and around and around the Pines is not fun at all. I had to stop at the house at mile 9 to use the restroom, I think the Hammer gels mess with my belly. Too much sugar or something. I realize now that the hip pain is from the Asics I walk around the city, etc. on. Not good. Gotta toss those. The heat was annoying, not sleeping great, eating right, another problem with these long runs out there. I did a 13.83 run in omg, i think it was over 3 hours. Pathetic. The humidity and heat were not the best, but not the worse, at all. Sunday morning's run went much better. It was pouring rain, 5 miles, were easy. The rain was awesome, now my favorite thing to run in. Perfect temperature, altho wet as hell, but I was not alone out there. Not rush, but finished in less than an hour. Monday was a welcomed day off. Lounged on the beach, fought the flies and then by the pool Most of the house left so it was quiet, the puppies were tired and I started reading Sarah's Key. Tuesday was a 3 miles run. I decided to try running on the beach. People make it look so easy. What a challenge. My right leg seemed to be favored so the hip hurt as I was running on a slant but I corrected myself and ran on flatter sand and it was slow, but steady. I worked up an intense sweat, dripping like never before...flashes or what? No clue. No pain or anything from straining on the sand. Didn't feel like much of a run, which I was happy about.
Now I'm back in the city, my alarm didn't go off this morning. So am in the Wednesday quandry of going to the social run or skipping it and just running alone after work. I am choosing the latter since last week was so taxing and the heat is up now. Heading to the park and then running around the bridal path and heading home is just too late for me after being away. I'm tired. Adjusting to being back in the city sucks. What's wrong with these damn bridge and tunnel trifling assholes...they walk 5 people abreast so I can step into traffic to get to work? They just don't give a shit. Car culturists....don't know how to be a pedistrian. I get such ped rage, if I only had a baseball bat. BAM...the cars from Jersey, no sense of STOPPING at the crosswalk. The cabbies are rude and nasty, no stopping. Block the box your trashy Jersey shits. I want to smash windshields. Not a good way to start the morning, AT ALL.
So the holocaust. I am tired of all of it HOWEVER, reading Sarah's Key, I can't stop reading it. The vantage point for a child in Paris. Paris. Unbelieveable. The confusion of why Jews, or she was dirty, hated, scorned, the not understanding, the trust, the hope, the fear. And the American woman married to a French man, looking for answers, researching for an article about the roundup in one Parisian neighborhood. The woman is kind of lame for being in such a messed up relationship but whatever, I likethe parallel stories, past and present. It is hard to imagine genocide. I guess what makes me sick of hearing about WW2 is that genocide is going on today and I don't hear about any Jewish group trying to intervene or help muslim groups in Africa. Maybe it's my ignorance, but I feel that if you want to world to feel your pain, you wouldn't want anyone else in the world the experience it either. And to hear about WW2 over and over again, i want to hear about the present since no one can forget the holocaust victims, remember the present victims. I'm just saying. What about the internment and the AMERICANS who were imprisioned in their own country, losing everything that they had worked hard for. Not to forget the small traversties of war, the atomic bomb victims. It's not be compared to the Holocaust or to dismiss any part of that tragic and horrific happening.
I don't know, the Japanese were ruthless and barbaric during the war. Shameful. Will the world every learn the lesson that war just doesn't solve much of anything. No winners on any spectrum of the concept of war. Just a lot of loss on both sides, a lot of ill feelings, hatred, anger, resentment. It is a vicious cycle of hate, killing, sadness. And the cost is unbelieveable. I am sick of all of the anger. I am sick of having to pay for someone else's need for war. I am sick of hearing about the senseless deaths, the sorrow, the need to "win." The US government sucks. I suck too. I sit and bitch, am silent, watching, not contributing, not willing to socialize and just be stupid anymore. But not bitter about life in general, not throwing out facts or information in order to "educate." Educate who? Most people don't care to know. I don't care to know, but how do you avoid this crap, it's everywhere?!
I have this need to run, run through aging, run through all the unnecessary killing, starvation, dying planet. I run because it's clean, it's green...it's zen.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Idiots, You Know who YOU are!
Back at work, in the office, climate control. Ran 3.5 today, walked the last .25 since the training day was calling for 3 miles and I went a little bit longer. I already had an old lady moment, bought a pack of gum and forgot it at the kiosk. Fuck it, I shouldn't be chewing gum anyway. Shit, damn, duhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I just ran out of the apartment today with nothing but my key. That's a first, usually have to overthink the outside run. Music, no music, heart rate monitor? Water? I didn't want to overthink a short run, sick of overthink, so strapped on my watch and took off.
Racists are rampant in NYC. I have never heard such racist comments, stereotypical references. Ignorance is everywhere in the air. Who cares if the air is polluted to run in, it's polluted with such bullshit. A coworker was describing a guy she had met, a native Brooklynite but he sounded like a Native American. It was obvious that she had no clue what the term "native American" references. I was confused but should have known that this girl isn't so bright, a racist, homophobe..that what she meant to say was that he didn't sound like a native New Yorker, maybe a midwesterner or west coast valley dude. Other coworkers assume since I am Asian, that I can relate to their Chinese dinner or anything Chinese because we are all the same. And they walk around as if they are native Italians, when they are actually Italian Americans, but American all the same. So superior and Italian by association, expert on Ragu and tasteless sauces and boxed pastas, such as Ronzini. Jews so self righteous and proud but just as ignorant as the next. National pride? I thought segregation was over? It seems like we are reverting backwards, my childhood is haunting me.
Okay running the last mile or so long the East River. I don't know if it's the sign of the times but the walkway along the river going/coming from 23rd Street is cardboard city. It's a red brick path, benches and trees, not a wide walkway, nicely kept. Well now under the trees are the homeless who appear to be so out of it. Appears to me that they are so high, stoned, dirty but just chilling by the river, slowly waking up as the running/biking crowd starts to really pick up. I assume that the economy and unemployment has escalated the homeless population. I noticed that the young runners looking over at them in disgust and fear. Fear. I dunno, these people appeared to be so strung out. Used to be one of two pairs along this path, but today it was every small tree had two people sleeping under it. The benches were occupied by the homeless, as well, but the more "seasoned" homeless. I look at myself running, no ipod..just a fancy watch but all this dri-fit clothing...sad. I should just run in cotton, cheap shoes...I feel excessive when I see so many without altho I wouldn't be surprised if the young new homeless come from privilege.
I don't know.
Racists are rampant in NYC. I have never heard such racist comments, stereotypical references. Ignorance is everywhere in the air. Who cares if the air is polluted to run in, it's polluted with such bullshit. A coworker was describing a guy she had met, a native Brooklynite but he sounded like a Native American. It was obvious that she had no clue what the term "native American" references. I was confused but should have known that this girl isn't so bright, a racist, homophobe..that what she meant to say was that he didn't sound like a native New Yorker, maybe a midwesterner or west coast valley dude. Other coworkers assume since I am Asian, that I can relate to their Chinese dinner or anything Chinese because we are all the same. And they walk around as if they are native Italians, when they are actually Italian Americans, but American all the same. So superior and Italian by association, expert on Ragu and tasteless sauces and boxed pastas, such as Ronzini. Jews so self righteous and proud but just as ignorant as the next. National pride? I thought segregation was over? It seems like we are reverting backwards, my childhood is haunting me.
Okay running the last mile or so long the East River. I don't know if it's the sign of the times but the walkway along the river going/coming from 23rd Street is cardboard city. It's a red brick path, benches and trees, not a wide walkway, nicely kept. Well now under the trees are the homeless who appear to be so out of it. Appears to me that they are so high, stoned, dirty but just chilling by the river, slowly waking up as the running/biking crowd starts to really pick up. I assume that the economy and unemployment has escalated the homeless population. I noticed that the young runners looking over at them in disgust and fear. Fear. I dunno, these people appeared to be so strung out. Used to be one of two pairs along this path, but today it was every small tree had two people sleeping under it. The benches were occupied by the homeless, as well, but the more "seasoned" homeless. I look at myself running, no ipod..just a fancy watch but all this dri-fit clothing...sad. I should just run in cotton, cheap shoes...I feel excessive when I see so many without altho I wouldn't be surprised if the young new homeless come from privilege.
I don't know.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Another Ache
Here we go ago again with a new ache. My left foot is in constant turmoil, my calf at times, my ankles hurt on the eliptical...but now what's up with my shoulder?!!! Enough already. Today was a "rest" day so I rested from running but went to the gym. Chatted with my gym buddy on the stairmill for 30 minutes and stretched. My hip flexor is so sore. I have 14 miles this coming Saturday out on Fire Island, totally not looking forward to it. Have to sign up for some races, maybe the Bronx Half. Doubtful. I kind of like to run long relaxed rather than feeling the pressure.
Okay, I have to participate in the team stuff. I am so bad at socializing but I am going to push myself to do so. I wanted to find a team to run with and feel comfortable with, which I kind of do with this team, but I haven't really put myself out there much. I guess I am shy still at 49. How sad is that? I am going to do the social run on Wednesday night. Time to meet more of the members.
Gas. Omg, it's terrible as you get older. Imagine what it's like while running?
Not a good reason to run: To pass gas.
Okay, I have to participate in the team stuff. I am so bad at socializing but I am going to push myself to do so. I wanted to find a team to run with and feel comfortable with, which I kind of do with this team, but I haven't really put myself out there much. I guess I am shy still at 49. How sad is that? I am going to do the social run on Wednesday night. Time to meet more of the members.
Gas. Omg, it's terrible as you get older. Imagine what it's like while running?
Not a good reason to run: To pass gas.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
brownies, sugar, ice cream....
Can't stop eating sugar. Getting thicker and thicker around the waist. I keep reading that this is what happens. Increase appetite, increase inches and slowing slowing of metabolism. What is so great about aging? Nothing. We work most of our lives from teenagers to seniors. What is that? Capitalism, greed, working working, only if you are successful and rich, does it all pay off, but for me? I will work until I'm 67 or 70 or maybe even longer at this rate of lack of social security and then what? Death.
I sometimes think that I should just give up running because I can't figure out what the point is for all this pain and sweat. I just heard that running creates endorphins that last 12 hours. I have low grade chronic depression, started exercising at the gym every day and felt better. Then three years ago started running outside instead of on the treadmill. Now look at me? I only hit the gym 2 or 3 times, weather dependent, try to keep the outside thing. Training for my first marathon, following a beginner's training program from Runner's World. But why should I? I will run at 49, and die at 50. Yep, that's the spirit. Or have hip replacement. Or give up Jersey Shore for good. I'm too old for Jersey Shore but it's a great reminder of how I am so happy to be older now. That stuff gets so old so quick.
So I had my long run of 12 miles on Saturday which coincided with the Queens Half Marathon, which I couldn't commit to since it is summer, afterall. I took it slow, left early (6:30) and finished before 9. Not bad, not bad. It was a great morning, loads of people out that early. What did I think about? Not a lot. Mainly about all the people I can't stand at work, haha. No hot flashes, they came later in the day, whoa, awful. Today to the gym, 3 miles on the dreadmill, while watching the news. Now eating brownies and more brownies. My foot feeling all sorts of weird, tingling, numb, pain. Went to the Chinese herbalist and he suggested some herbal pills, 30 pills a day and should do the trick. Much less than acupuncture which is 10x at $40. I have taken 20 today, instead of aleve. Let's see.
The Bachorlette, HAHAHA. Breeders are so stupid. I think that Bentley was the most honest contestant yet. Love it!!!! This what we have come to? I watched the Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, ER, real shows. Reality scripted shows, scripted so that can't be reality. And the whole dating scene, girls playing games and guys playing along. Careful, do you really know these people? Oh email and texting, that's knowing someone, FOOL.
Maybe I'm just too old. Turning into my mother. Bitter and angry. So I keep running. I run to clear my mind, I run to forget, I run to remember, I run to understand, I just run. Run through the discomfort, the heat, the hot flashes. Most of the time alone, but there are times with strangers. I wonder how much longer I will be able to keep motivated.
I sometimes think that I should just give up running because I can't figure out what the point is for all this pain and sweat. I just heard that running creates endorphins that last 12 hours. I have low grade chronic depression, started exercising at the gym every day and felt better. Then three years ago started running outside instead of on the treadmill. Now look at me? I only hit the gym 2 or 3 times, weather dependent, try to keep the outside thing. Training for my first marathon, following a beginner's training program from Runner's World. But why should I? I will run at 49, and die at 50. Yep, that's the spirit. Or have hip replacement. Or give up Jersey Shore for good. I'm too old for Jersey Shore but it's a great reminder of how I am so happy to be older now. That stuff gets so old so quick.
So I had my long run of 12 miles on Saturday which coincided with the Queens Half Marathon, which I couldn't commit to since it is summer, afterall. I took it slow, left early (6:30) and finished before 9. Not bad, not bad. It was a great morning, loads of people out that early. What did I think about? Not a lot. Mainly about all the people I can't stand at work, haha. No hot flashes, they came later in the day, whoa, awful. Today to the gym, 3 miles on the dreadmill, while watching the news. Now eating brownies and more brownies. My foot feeling all sorts of weird, tingling, numb, pain. Went to the Chinese herbalist and he suggested some herbal pills, 30 pills a day and should do the trick. Much less than acupuncture which is 10x at $40. I have taken 20 today, instead of aleve. Let's see.
The Bachorlette, HAHAHA. Breeders are so stupid. I think that Bentley was the most honest contestant yet. Love it!!!! This what we have come to? I watched the Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, ER, real shows. Reality scripted shows, scripted so that can't be reality. And the whole dating scene, girls playing games and guys playing along. Careful, do you really know these people? Oh email and texting, that's knowing someone, FOOL.
Maybe I'm just too old. Turning into my mother. Bitter and angry. So I keep running. I run to clear my mind, I run to forget, I run to remember, I run to understand, I just run. Run through the discomfort, the heat, the hot flashes. Most of the time alone, but there are times with strangers. I wonder how much longer I will be able to keep motivated.
Friday, July 29, 2011
So Gay
What's that mean? So gay as in gay-like or just gay. Who knows? Someone, a gay man, said that he doesn't want "gay" to go mainstream. I have to say, hey, I agree. It's all about the same-sex marriage passing in New York State. It's great to have a choice but really? Marriage is such an overrated institution of pressure, expectation and delusions. Yep, that's what I say. Who says you have to be with this one person forEVA? God, dear gawd, who the hell is this God who says that "until death do we part." Oh really? Divorce, annulment, fuck you UNTIL DEATH DO WE PART!!! Seriously, who wants to be like those breeders who breed irresponsibility, don't take care of their unwanted (leave that to the gays, but don't let them adopt; foster), who marry just to marry and then have vicious divorces, custody battles. Poor kids, their parents suck. Who wants to be a breeder? I couldn't agree more, don't let "gay" go mainstream, who needs that b.s.
If you haven't been married, and don't really have the choice to get married, then of course, you want to get married. It's like that whole maternity leave bullshit, I want three months off just because I choose to, and get paid for it. I choose not to have kids, so why do I have to go to work every day and earn my days off? I have no sympathy when mothers complain about sleepless nights, hey, no one told you to have a baby. Rules should be imposed, have a baby, adopt a baby. Take care of your annoying breeding brothers and sisters who can't take care of their pups. Or get fixed. We impose spaying and neutering animals, do the same with humans. Humans are the most toxic creatures on earth. There should be testing to breed. You don't pass? Neuter/spay your sorry ass. But what about the human race, it will just die off with no breeding? Doesn't matter, humans are killing planet earth, so what's the difference? Maybe if the population decreased, planet earth will survive.
This is why I run.
If you haven't been married, and don't really have the choice to get married, then of course, you want to get married. It's like that whole maternity leave bullshit, I want three months off just because I choose to, and get paid for it. I choose not to have kids, so why do I have to go to work every day and earn my days off? I have no sympathy when mothers complain about sleepless nights, hey, no one told you to have a baby. Rules should be imposed, have a baby, adopt a baby. Take care of your annoying breeding brothers and sisters who can't take care of their pups. Or get fixed. We impose spaying and neutering animals, do the same with humans. Humans are the most toxic creatures on earth. There should be testing to breed. You don't pass? Neuter/spay your sorry ass. But what about the human race, it will just die off with no breeding? Doesn't matter, humans are killing planet earth, so what's the difference? Maybe if the population decreased, planet earth will survive.
This is why I run.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Do You Walk Everywhere? I Saw You Walking.....
Yeah, I was walking this morning, just finishing 4 miles, supposedly easy run. I was hot and my legs tired, so yeah, I walk. I am walking now, two dogs. Maybe I misunderstood, maybe I didn't hear right - that seems to be a constant these days. Do you go to the run with the dogs? Of course, I do. Really? They run well? Oh wow, misunderstood so how do I play this one off. Oh well, they run okay. This whole listening comprehension stuff has become such a challenge as the months proceed ahead closer to the big 5-0. Well the whole "the run" thing threw me off but I should have realized that I was still in my running stuff, still sweating after the run or another hot flash. No idea anymore, running during the summer with all sorts of internal heat waves, the sweat is nonstop. Whatever.
Do you run with music or nature? I used to depend on something blaring in my head. For the Philly Half, headphones were banned for insurance reasons so I tried to run without. I saw a handful of people who must have missed that detail and were in blissful head escape. I didn't think that I would really make it without, but I had other issues during that half, I don't even remember if I missed headphones. Doubtful. That was my first half, which I didn't train for at all, so all things considered I finished, did fine but my body really was done for. Had a terrible night's sleep, too early a start, freezing cold but then it started. What fun, running through the old haunts, watching some woman relieving herself under the Franklin Bridge, only to turn the corner to see the port-o-potties, right there! In conclusion, an iPod was not necessary, especially after hitting a wall at mile 9, didn't really care about anything other than finishing.
Shorter races in Central Park, I liked having a distraction from the endless chatter of fellow runners along the courses. Now? I like the chatter, the huffing and puffing, feeling the competition in the air as I "jog" to the finish. I only started signing up for "races" after two years of running on the dreadmill. I was "young" then, feeling good, running well, working out everyday. I was such a wreck, nervous, in the bathroom prior to every race, dragging my partner with me, early. Hold my stuff, waiting in line with me at the potties. Asking random people at work if they wanted to run with, sign up. What a trip that was. Soon I would just sign up and go alone, finish and head right home. Then I blew my calf out. That was the beginning of multiple problems with my legs and feet.
There are days that I wish I had started younger, been motivated to exercise, to run, to do something other than party, smoke, eat and just be stupid. It wasn't until I was well over 200 lbs, single, that I realized that I better get busy and take the weight off and get happy again. Now that I am almost 50, the aches and pains from running are annoying, slowing down, not PR-ing anymore. Physically therapy for 12 weeks for my calf, the pain was overwhelming, then back to the pod dr. for plantar's fasciitis. That has never really gone completely away, flairs up. Nerve ending weird stuff in my feet, numbness of the toes, back to the sports dr. Black nails, blisters and now a twinge in my hip. What is going on? "do you walk" cannot run anymore, hip replacement after running his one and only marathon. O-M-G!!! My hip has a slight ache, what is this? I try to stretch my hip flexors but not enough stretching going on, I must confess. Any ache concerns me, so imagine? I am concerned 24/7, gosh, aging is rough. Who knew? I didn't.
Okay the run today was a semi-easy one. I ran 4 miles outside, going north on the eastside, not so hot, it was 5:45 a.m. but humid, of course. I proceeded up 2nd Avenue to 69th and saw that the 2nd Avenue subway had made it to 69th Street, wow. That was fast. I wonder if I will see it down my way in my life time, who knows! I went over to 1st Avenue and started the decend down to 27th Street. I was going at a slower pace than usual, with headphones this morning, listening to the same four songs over and over again. It's odd, because 4 miles is usually simple, but I have this thing, I can't push myself for the last mile, it's so weird. Once a therapist told me that I have issues about ending things, that's why for years I hadn't finished a novel, always stopped a few pages before the end. Losing interest before then, so odd. I did five the other day and getting from 4 miles to 5 was a chore. In my head, I think, well I will stop at 4.80, walk the last bit to cool down like I read somewhere. Where? I don't remember. Today was different, in my head, I figured that I would run over 2.0 mile mark so when I hit the 4.0 mile mark, I will walk the last bit, so running nonstop for 4 miles follows the training program. I have just decided that I am way too much in my head about running.
Podcasts are a cool thing to listen to while running. I love Two Gomers, they are so real, funny, entertaining but really determined and motivated. They motivate me and take my mind off of all the aches that I THINK that I have while running. Marathon Training Academy is another one that I find easy to listen to, Running with the Pack, as well. Oh I listen to others but won't mention them all right now. I realize now that I haven't seen a new podcast from Running with the Pack, Stevie and Allan are so much fun to listen to, give me ideas for fuel and hydration. I can't get the fueling thing together, gels are kind of grody. One of the two Gomers has a problem with the consistency of gu. I have to agree. Hammer is less sweet, but it's still gel. I read that dried fruit works well but in this humidity, it's so gross to handle. I get the gel all over as well while running, I don't like that sticky feeling. I got one of those Camelbak hydropacks. Last Saturday I had a long run of 10 and ran out of water, of course by the end. I am hoping that this week I will be better with the hydration and have some at the end of 12. A friend who is a marathoner suggested putting nuun tablets in the water. Oh so much better than gaterade, which kills my belly. I have such belly issues, don't know how to get my GI to calm down while hot flashing and running in the heat.
Next will be nutrition....
Do you run with music or nature? I used to depend on something blaring in my head. For the Philly Half, headphones were banned for insurance reasons so I tried to run without. I saw a handful of people who must have missed that detail and were in blissful head escape. I didn't think that I would really make it without, but I had other issues during that half, I don't even remember if I missed headphones. Doubtful. That was my first half, which I didn't train for at all, so all things considered I finished, did fine but my body really was done for. Had a terrible night's sleep, too early a start, freezing cold but then it started. What fun, running through the old haunts, watching some woman relieving herself under the Franklin Bridge, only to turn the corner to see the port-o-potties, right there! In conclusion, an iPod was not necessary, especially after hitting a wall at mile 9, didn't really care about anything other than finishing.
Shorter races in Central Park, I liked having a distraction from the endless chatter of fellow runners along the courses. Now? I like the chatter, the huffing and puffing, feeling the competition in the air as I "jog" to the finish. I only started signing up for "races" after two years of running on the dreadmill. I was "young" then, feeling good, running well, working out everyday. I was such a wreck, nervous, in the bathroom prior to every race, dragging my partner with me, early. Hold my stuff, waiting in line with me at the potties. Asking random people at work if they wanted to run with, sign up. What a trip that was. Soon I would just sign up and go alone, finish and head right home. Then I blew my calf out. That was the beginning of multiple problems with my legs and feet.
There are days that I wish I had started younger, been motivated to exercise, to run, to do something other than party, smoke, eat and just be stupid. It wasn't until I was well over 200 lbs, single, that I realized that I better get busy and take the weight off and get happy again. Now that I am almost 50, the aches and pains from running are annoying, slowing down, not PR-ing anymore. Physically therapy for 12 weeks for my calf, the pain was overwhelming, then back to the pod dr. for plantar's fasciitis. That has never really gone completely away, flairs up. Nerve ending weird stuff in my feet, numbness of the toes, back to the sports dr. Black nails, blisters and now a twinge in my hip. What is going on? "do you walk" cannot run anymore, hip replacement after running his one and only marathon. O-M-G!!! My hip has a slight ache, what is this? I try to stretch my hip flexors but not enough stretching going on, I must confess. Any ache concerns me, so imagine? I am concerned 24/7, gosh, aging is rough. Who knew? I didn't.
Okay the run today was a semi-easy one. I ran 4 miles outside, going north on the eastside, not so hot, it was 5:45 a.m. but humid, of course. I proceeded up 2nd Avenue to 69th and saw that the 2nd Avenue subway had made it to 69th Street, wow. That was fast. I wonder if I will see it down my way in my life time, who knows! I went over to 1st Avenue and started the decend down to 27th Street. I was going at a slower pace than usual, with headphones this morning, listening to the same four songs over and over again. It's odd, because 4 miles is usually simple, but I have this thing, I can't push myself for the last mile, it's so weird. Once a therapist told me that I have issues about ending things, that's why for years I hadn't finished a novel, always stopped a few pages before the end. Losing interest before then, so odd. I did five the other day and getting from 4 miles to 5 was a chore. In my head, I think, well I will stop at 4.80, walk the last bit to cool down like I read somewhere. Where? I don't remember. Today was different, in my head, I figured that I would run over 2.0 mile mark so when I hit the 4.0 mile mark, I will walk the last bit, so running nonstop for 4 miles follows the training program. I have just decided that I am way too much in my head about running.
Podcasts are a cool thing to listen to while running. I love Two Gomers, they are so real, funny, entertaining but really determined and motivated. They motivate me and take my mind off of all the aches that I THINK that I have while running. Marathon Training Academy is another one that I find easy to listen to, Running with the Pack, as well. Oh I listen to others but won't mention them all right now. I realize now that I haven't seen a new podcast from Running with the Pack, Stevie and Allan are so much fun to listen to, give me ideas for fuel and hydration. I can't get the fueling thing together, gels are kind of grody. One of the two Gomers has a problem with the consistency of gu. I have to agree. Hammer is less sweet, but it's still gel. I read that dried fruit works well but in this humidity, it's so gross to handle. I get the gel all over as well while running, I don't like that sticky feeling. I got one of those Camelbak hydropacks. Last Saturday I had a long run of 10 and ran out of water, of course by the end. I am hoping that this week I will be better with the hydration and have some at the end of 12. A friend who is a marathoner suggested putting nuun tablets in the water. Oh so much better than gaterade, which kills my belly. I have such belly issues, don't know how to get my GI to calm down while hot flashing and running in the heat.
Next will be nutrition....
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Today is for the Dread Mill
It's a work day. After having a few days off from the office grind, I realize that 5:30 a.m. routine really sucks for someone who is tired all of the time. Now I am REALLY tired, coffee seems to help. I trudged to the gym, not knowing that it would be the perfect running outside morning, no humidity. Needless to say, it was too late to head back to the apartment, when I felt the fresh crisp air. So off I ran to the gym, how exciting. Mostly because I wanted to catch up with a gym buddy after so many days of being out of touch. I had a dilemma at hand, however. I was scheduled for a 4 mile run and wanted to do some weight training as well.
The reason why Wednesday running in the morning is such an issue now is that there is a social run for the team that I joined a few months back. I go back and forth, go, not go, hot, not so hot, social, antisocial, fast, slow, on and on, in my head. Is that part of the whole aging thing? Can't make a decision? So far I have gone for three of their social runs over the past months because Wednesday nights for me are tough. Work. Work is the biggest obstacle here. Can I get out of here and up to 90th & Fifth by 7:30. Hmm, yes, I can. So there you go, another confession, laziness and lack of motivation prevents me from doing so many things. Now THAT'S this whole thing, of just being tired all of the time. So today is a great day to have an evening run, no humidity at all. But of course, I already ran 4 miles on the treadmill.
So there I was running on the treadmill. I can keep a faster pace than I actually run, in general, outside. So of course, there is a feeling of improvement on the treadmill. I can watch the news over and over and over again, so I feel "current." I have access to the rest room, water and towels to wipe my sweaty brow. Even a fan blows, if I want to cool down. So there I was watching tv, increasing the speed, the incline, feeling okay until...oh my gawd, this hot hot hot feeling begins to rush through me and the sweat pour out of me like buckets. Okay, here we go again, hot flash, maybe? It's the most uncomfortable thing ever. I wake up at 3 a.m. every morning, hot hot hot. Even as I blog here, I can feel the heat rising.
How much longer can I bitch and moan about the hot flashes? I guess until they go away. The feeling of aging is not a happy one, that's all I know. 20s were okay, breaking lose, enjoying the lack of parental control, trying to figure out what to be when I grew up. Always trying to figure out, trying to be so adult as a 20 something, wasn't everyone the same then? My 30s were not much better, I got married just because there was someone to marry for all of the wrong reasons so why the hell not, didn't everyone get married like that? Divorced in my 30s and then converted to "gay life!" Now my 40s, so welcomed, so calm, so zenned out, love my 40s. Years of therapy, change of job in my late 30s, getting "healthy" was the top priority, just like a gay man! Everyone knows what that's like, right???? Everyone loves their 40s, no? Am I wrong about that? I have no clue, but for me, 40 was a nightmare birthday, but an awesome decade of freedom and less stress! Until now.
More later.....
The reason why Wednesday running in the morning is such an issue now is that there is a social run for the team that I joined a few months back. I go back and forth, go, not go, hot, not so hot, social, antisocial, fast, slow, on and on, in my head. Is that part of the whole aging thing? Can't make a decision? So far I have gone for three of their social runs over the past months because Wednesday nights for me are tough. Work. Work is the biggest obstacle here. Can I get out of here and up to 90th & Fifth by 7:30. Hmm, yes, I can. So there you go, another confession, laziness and lack of motivation prevents me from doing so many things. Now THAT'S this whole thing, of just being tired all of the time. So today is a great day to have an evening run, no humidity at all. But of course, I already ran 4 miles on the treadmill.
So there I was running on the treadmill. I can keep a faster pace than I actually run, in general, outside. So of course, there is a feeling of improvement on the treadmill. I can watch the news over and over and over again, so I feel "current." I have access to the rest room, water and towels to wipe my sweaty brow. Even a fan blows, if I want to cool down. So there I was watching tv, increasing the speed, the incline, feeling okay until...oh my gawd, this hot hot hot feeling begins to rush through me and the sweat pour out of me like buckets. Okay, here we go again, hot flash, maybe? It's the most uncomfortable thing ever. I wake up at 3 a.m. every morning, hot hot hot. Even as I blog here, I can feel the heat rising.
How much longer can I bitch and moan about the hot flashes? I guess until they go away. The feeling of aging is not a happy one, that's all I know. 20s were okay, breaking lose, enjoying the lack of parental control, trying to figure out what to be when I grew up. Always trying to figure out, trying to be so adult as a 20 something, wasn't everyone the same then? My 30s were not much better, I got married just because there was someone to marry for all of the wrong reasons so why the hell not, didn't everyone get married like that? Divorced in my 30s and then converted to "gay life!" Now my 40s, so welcomed, so calm, so zenned out, love my 40s. Years of therapy, change of job in my late 30s, getting "healthy" was the top priority, just like a gay man! Everyone knows what that's like, right???? Everyone loves their 40s, no? Am I wrong about that? I have no clue, but for me, 40 was a nightmare birthday, but an awesome decade of freedom and less stress! Until now.
More later.....
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Aging is for the Aged
I was out today for a short 5 mile run along the East River. Summer in NYC has been pretty mild until now. Last week it was brutally hot and humid but I kept up with my training program, running outside v. on the dreadmill. I don't normally want to talk about my running or training because it's just that personal thing that I have gotten into late in life. I have met people that just want to compete and brag about their accomplishments, which is unimpressive and bothersome for someone who is 20+ their senior. I am the wrong person to compete with, I'm almost 50, afterall!!
So there I was this morning, running at a very slow pace, pouring in sweat, trying to figure out if it was really that hot today or was it another hot flash. I was so in my head since my headphones weren't staying on so I was running in silence, just my heavy breathing, started to question if anyone else is going through this hell on earth??? I guess women just don't talk about any of this, especially if they are competitive by nature, what? Aging? Slowing down? Not so fast, no stamina, no drive, just want to sleep, not me!! I have no problem bitching about it, it's so frustrating. In my head I decided I would start to blog about it, hoping that it would work as therapy and I would just get over it. GET OVER IT!
Don't think that anyone will be following my whole aging experience, but if you love to run, inside, out and are "middle aged" as I am, I hope that this helps. You aren't alone, I am right there with you! I feel alone in this private summer but I know you are out there somewhere in the vast crazy world!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)